THE VICTORIA – PAUL’S NOT (AND NOWHERE NEAR) 50th BIRTHDAY BASH

28/07/12: After a week of sobriety and detox (yes, you read that right) we were fresher than a parachuting Monarch, and just like an Olympic ‘VIP’ spectator seat, we hadn’t been sat on all week, so we pressed ‘record’ on the Men’s Greco-Roman Wrestling and set off East.

Birthday boy and guv’nor Paul had promised a great night of cabaret and entertainment and he certainly lived up to his promise. Like any good birthday party there was singing, dancing, party games (with a twist) and lashings of booze. Lola Lasagne was the magnificent mistress of ceremony, opening the night with ‘Lady Is A Tramp’ from the musical Babes in Arms.

Lola got the crowd in the mood with beautifully timed witty banter and punchy jokes: “I have tried being straight. I just couldn’t get a fanny up me arse,” and “I saw a woman collecting for vaginal reduction the other day. She was shaking a massive bucket!” We howled like the dirty-minded wenches we are!

But our glamorous hostess couldn’t help but be distracted by the man-meat in the crowd, Josh, who was quite conveniently sat right at the front. Lola doesn’t hang about when there’s a big butch man around.

Anyway, enough about the totty in the crowd! Back to the entertainment… New boy on the scene, Joshua Martin, was first up with a pleasant doo-wop/Overtones inspired set followed by a delightful rendition of ‘Stars’ from Les Mis.

Australian lip-syncing drag troupe, Drags Aloud, (a new act on our dragdar), headed by Kris Del Vaye, followed and launched themselves onto the stage with some energetic routines, incorporating the audience along the way. Their performance of Do-Re-Mi from ‘The Sound Of Music’ was one of the most memorable I’ve seen in a while, mostly down to the puzzling but captivating facial expressions. Hilarious!

Before we knew it, it was well into the early hours and Walthamstow favourite Nora Bone was up strutting her ‘sexy, tiny little arse’ and initiating a messy game of ‘pass the poppers’. A room of boozed up gay guys and a bottle of poppers being passed around is a no brainer for hilarity, and what ensued was just that. We abstained of course, being the clean living ‘body is a temple’ type and all that. [Laughs like mad!]

If that wasn’t enough carnage, Nora then took on a six foot six soldier in a drinking game… and WON! We loved Nora’s demented party games and she was on glorious form.

Debi Hall and Lola wrapped the night up with a selection of camp, crowd pleasing, sing-along numbers, that had everyone up dancing, and Lola even got a snog from that hunky guy in the crowd. We were SO jealous! It was all about the birthday boy though as Paul was presented with a saucy cake that we just couldn’t wait to get our chops around (wink, wink). What a night!

We woke up in a ditch somewhere in East London but it was worth every second of Sunday’s fifteen hour hangover. Happy Birthday, Paul!

 

186 Hoe Street, Walthamstow, E17.
Words by Jason Reid
Photos by Mark Storey

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