Preparation is everything to do good drag and perfect that transsexual look. Forget that whole East London “throw a wig on and grow a beard” routine. GOOD drag takes time and energy. Here are a few tips for the novice…
1) Shave well. No rusty old Bic razors. Get a fresh blade and close shave. Up and down. Nothing is more off-putting than a bearded lady! Then moisturize for half an hour before applying base.
2) Use a QUALITY base. Lancome, Mac and Max Factor all do heavy coverage foundations. The extra cost is well worth the investment. The thicker the base the prettier the face. Remember to powder, too. Big, shiny, melting men’s faces is not an attractive look. It sets your base and gives you a clean palette to work with.
3) STYLE your wig. Buying some lank “Pam Ayres” style bob wig and giving it a shake before plonking it on your head will give you just that, a Pam Ayres wig. If you are not great at styling, then throwing a few flowers on the side or a hair grip can add movement and interest and set you off against the army of little boys in bad wigs. Stand OUT. Be PROUD. Make some EFFORT.
4) If you are not gonna shave your legs and want to show them off then wear extra pairs of tights to cover the monkey man legs.
5) Be REALISTIC . If you are the size of a house do not go for a figure hugging mini dress. Leave that to the skinny mini’s. Go “A line” and do big boobs to hold the contours away from your body and highlight your legs and head. If you have a figure, show it off, but if those days are behind you don’t go drag blind. 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag is not a good look.
6) Practice wearing your heels around the house. ESPECIALLY if they are new. Foot rot midway through a fun night out is avoidable if you soften the leather (or, god forbid, plastic) up before wearing them. If you are wearing open toe shoes then get a pair that fit. Three hanging claws making a bid for freedom over the edge of your shoe is just scary. Also pad bits that feel a bit sore after the practice session to avoid unsightly corns .
7) If you have a gut then “corset it in”. Unless you are going for the Kim Kardashian 9-months gone look, a tummy hanging over the edge of your look is vulgar and uncalled for.
8) Check the weather! Heat is drag’s worst enemy. A fur jacket on a boiling summer’s day is NOT your friend, however, fantastic it looks. You will sweat like a pig and end up looking like a Barcelona street walker after an hour or so.
9) Wear deodorant and brush your teeth. I am sick of smelling someone’s arm pits before they open their mouth to speak. You might look like a lady, but you will still sweat like a geezer.
10) ENJOY THE POWER. Doing drag is like taking a holiday from your own physical reality so remember to enjoy the freedom it brings. Dance, flirt, laugh and live life to the full. Most of all ENJOY it. It will show on your face.
• TrannyShack North is at The Black Cap (171 Camden High Street, London, NW1 7JY) on Pride Day Saturday 29th June.
• Also, every Wednesday at Madame JoJos in Soho, with TrannyShack East monthly at East Bloc (Old Street) and TrannyShack South XXX monthly at Eagle London (Vauxhall). See future QX for updates.
