MERMAN’S RETURN!

International chanteuse, drag sensation and star of stage and screen, Varla Jean Merman returns to London this September, for the first time in over ten years, with her show ‘The Book of Merman’. Alongside singing string quartet, ‘Well Strung’, Varla will perform three exclusive shows here in the capital. Jason Reid talked spray cheese, politics and RuPaul’s Drag Race with the lady herself this week… 

 

It’s been a whole decade since we’ve seen you in London. What’s kept you away?

Besides the UK Border Patrol? Well, I guess I just wasn’t invited. But luckily for you, I have ten years of material that London hasn’t seen, and I can pick from the best of the best to present this time – which is much better than me coming every year and you having to sit through the sub-par monologues and songs.

Looking forward to coming back?

Yes! The first time I came to London was on the dark day of 9/11. ON THE VERY DAY! The next time I came was during the celebratory Jubilee.  I’m hoping for a less bi-polar experience this time.

A lot of Brits may not have seen your talents. How would you describe yourself in a short, snappy, sentence to them?

Reduce my entire life into one sentence? No way. I just need one word to describe myself: ‘Sweaty’.

And I’m guessing the show ‘The Book of Merman’ will reflect? What can we expect? 

Sweat and mayonnaise. With a whiff of desperation.

Will there be the notorious ‘eating spray cheese whilst singing’ routine? 

[Laughs] Sadly not! Unfortunately I’ve become lactose intolerant in the past decade, so I’ve retired the ‘eating spray cheese while singing coloratura’ act that brought me notoriety, limited fame and no fortune.

What do you think your fictitious mother, Ethel Merman, would make of this modern world of entertainment?

Mama would have been outraged at the
use of amplification in the theatre today. But I think she would have taken a shine to the ‘twerking’ movement sweeping today’s youth.

Is she a big influence in your act?

No. But the lawyers of her estate are.

Your look is a very striking one, with a slight Kandi Kane Baxter feel, in my opinion. Who inspired that look?

You know, Kandi and I actually performed together for several years in Provincetown, Massachusetts. I can’t wait to hunt her down while I’m there. My look was inspired by the great Ann-Margret. The gorgeous Sharon Tate. And the goofy Jo Anne Worley.

The American drag scene has been somewhat rejuvenated by RuPauls Drag Race. What do you think of that whole new drag ‘movement’?

I think that with this last season, they finally got it right. Jinkx Monsoon is a talented lady, representing the old guard, rather than many of the other winners whose only talent was a ‘look.’ The next drag superstar is not going to be a pretty mannequin, but rather a triple threat. And Jinkx Monsoon is definitely that.

You’ve made many TV and film appearances yourself; which is your favourite and why?

The film ‘Girls Will Be Girls’ definitely is my favourite. We also filmed a sequel. Unfortunately the editing process is taking a long time, because rendering the mega filters that had to be put on our close ups is a hugely time consuming, but necessary, step. If we had waited any later to film it, it would have been called Girls Will Be Golden Girls.

You’re also a very vocal advocate of gay rights, regularly using your profile positively to highlight such issues… 

Well sadly a lot of middle America sucks. Point blank. Convincing the heartland of our country to pass equality is not going to be easy. Many of those states would probably vote for a reinstatement of slavery if given the chance. Vocal persistence is the only way to keep the movement going forward.

And it is, of course, a worldwide issue, as we’ve seen with the recent developments in Russia. What would you say to Putin if you had the opportunity to speak to him? 

I won’t tell you the exact words, but I would take off my wig first. I wouldn’t want it to get messed in our ‘heated conversation’.

 

• Varla Jean Merman will be performing in ‘The Book of Merman’ at the Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, London, WC2H 7BX from Thursday 19th to Saturday 21st of September. 

Tickets £25-35. Box Office: 08448 733433. 

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