Cliff Joannou takes a seat next to Christeene in his sexually infused sewer of shamelessness…*
Tell us about your views on gender as a performance…
I think dat people gotta start fuggin realizin da therr r a fuck ton of different waterways dat navigate around diz simplistic shit of male an female bull ca-ca. Da one thing dat can alwayz crack open dat nut inside ur big ass head is ‘Performance’… an derr aint no better way tooo shift da shape of sum gender around than bustin out da majiik closet an dressin them dreamz up juz riyeeet in a performance space.
What are your beliefs regarding ‘Gay’ – or LGBT – Pride?
Shit. Most Pride’s juz gone an got about as full uh shit as da Catholic church. Used tooo be a celebration of every an all. Of da whole freakin family…an i fuckin mean FREAK-IN. Wuz a focused history lesson of da brave members of diz famileeee dat tore it up and tore it down ferrrr all of us. Now a lot of times da Oprah anglez in my heart git sad an git fed up when i see a Pride that has that twisted corporate cheeze cloth wrapped around it. Make me wanna stank shit up.
Have we sacrificed a sense of individuality with a desire to conform to mainstream society’s ‘safer’ vision of an ideal ‘gay’ citizen?
I think therr iz a fuck ton of da LGBTQ gang dat have gone all heteronormative an gone an assimilated so that tha straight folk can feel ok, yeah. But i also know dat becuuuuuz of a lotta dat messy shit, there been a full tilt from tha cray LGBTQI side dat iZ juiced up an on fire…ret to ignite da mysterious and tha untouchable majiik in all our queer fuggin souls.
What’s your tale on the concept of Gay Shame and Lesbian Weakness that Duckie are addressing in their Pride night event?
I tink dat when deez fuckers say Gay Shame an Lesbian Weaknessss…it is dat very fuckin thing…tha cray side celebration every aspect of themselves, every form an facet of their queer spirit an carnal fire. Da things that them heteronormative assimilatin’ shitz might deem shameful weak. But fuck. Mostly iz juz one uh tha best celebrations u can wrap dat dick around haaaaaay!
What does sexuality and sex mean to you?
Meanz a goood smell…like on a used bath towel.
da Oprah anglez in my heart git sad an git fed up when i see a Pride that has that twisted corporate cheeze cloth wrapped around it!
Do you believe gay people are intrinsically raised to be ashamed of sex, hence the proliferation of the dark room/cruising/fetish scene?
Fuck whut society says bout all deez beautiful exotic creatures. We like tha dark roomz an da fetish smackin cuz it is a celebration of so many rooms….so many dark rivers that only we know how too navigate.
Is that scene simply popular amongst gay men because society says men can have casual sex without judgment and women cannot?
Pleeeeeeeeeze. I know a fuckin TON uh womyn who can fuck you casually til next Tuezday.
What are your views on safe sex?
I think yall should be strappin dat fuckin rubber on. A hole iz still a hole, baybeeeez, no matter whut u gotta take care of while pluggin it.
What do you think about monogamy? Is it a natural state of being for people?
Fuck if i know
And what about the concept of romantic love?
Lucky be tha shits who git it.
Your music and videos completely usurp the preconceptions of sex and sexuality. When did you start exploring those 
themes and playing with gender?
Shit. I cant remember when anything fuggin started with mee. When deez songs of mine found tha person who became da keeper of tha movin images by tha name of PJ Raval – he make all da videos wit me – then worlds collided and exploration toook too da fuggin front seat. We aint got an agenda. We just let da monkey box in our brains turn tha crank an play tha musical chairs.
What are the great challenges facing the LGBT community?
Da fuggin LGBTQ language police.
Where is the LGBT community failing its own people?
Da fuggin LGBTQ language police not meetin in da fuckin middle.
What is your single greatest pleasure?
A full room of hungry fuggin people
who wanna stare at uh stage an git fed by my shit.
Have you ever contemplated suicide?
Sui – who?
If you could inhabit the body of anyone else on this planet, but with your own mind and thinking, who would it be?
Da chickenz in my yard.
• Christeene is at ‘Duckie presents Gay Shame and Lesbian Weakness’ at the Electric Brixton on Pride Day Saturday 28th June, 9pm-4am. Tickets £18 advance.
• Watch Christeene’s fucking awesome videos and read more at christeenemusic.com
Christeene is my spiritual leader.