Some people say I, Scottee, have an ego, other people think I’m Liberace in Dawn French’s clothing. In an attempt to uncover who is really behind the wonky eyelashes and stained sequins I’m interviewing myself…
Scottee: Is this an exercise in exorcising your ego?
Scottee: Perhaps, I guess I’m bored of answering the same questions – are you a drag queen? Why do you wear sequins? Where do you get your ideas from? …but is it art?
Scottee: You’re coming across a little arrogant…
Scottee: Really?
Scottee: Yeah, you sound like a whiny gay performance artist.
Scottee: I’m bored with being labelled as a gay performance artist, or as a gay man in general. I don’t think I’m any of these things.
Scottee: Sorry? You’re not a gay man?
Scottee: No… I don’t understand masculinity so being labelled a man feels alien. I also feel no affinity with a community whose tag line is ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ – as a fat femme my association with gay culture is one of an outsider. I think I feel more like a queer woman.
Scottee: When was the last time you were a dickhead?
Scottee: The last time I was in an UBER. I have little patience with people whom I need to repeat my postcode 4 times to so they can input the information into the 4 different SatNavs they have in the car. UBER is like the Primark of Taxis but I’d rather use UBER than Addison Lee any day #FirstWorldProblem
Scottee: Are you a diva then?
Scottee: No, I’m too old fashioned. However if being a diva means you have a personality then guilty. I think the diva tag is batted around too often to describe women who are strong minded and successful – it borders on misogynistic. We don’t have a word for bitchy men or successful men do we?
Scottee: Deep. So are you a feminist then?
Scottee: Yes although some feminists refuse to accept me as one. They are caught up with the junk I was born with between my legs. I don’t identify as a bloke but they are all too quick to label me as one.
Scottee: Do you think gay men have a sense of community?
Scottee: I think the community is dying, being replaced by a string of apps and one fatal swipe left or right based on the eyebrows of the person in question. However, I don’t think all is lost – if we look up from the screens a bit more and look at each other we might just be able to save ourselves.
Scottee: So why are you holding your NYE party in a gay bar then?
Scottee: I worked at the Black Cap when I was 18. I pulled pints and sat at the end of the bar with the older queens. They told me about Danny La Rue, Kenneth Williams and gay before queer. It’s the first place I saw a drag act…
Scottee: …who was it?
Scottee: Titti la Camp! The Cap is special to me! I was born in Camden and still live there so it only seems right to have a knees up there.
Scottee: I see you’ve booked Black Lace…
Scottee: YES! Aga-do-do-do! When I was 2 my Dad took me to Spain and I danced to the Hokey Cokey for hours. I love a bit of naff British culture – we do it really well.
Scottee: Are you naff?
Scottee: Yes but consciously, so it’s intentional. Can you be intentionally naff?
Scottee: But is it art?
Scottee: Oh do fuck off.
