Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. Before I got kicked out of Brownies for feigning illness one too many times, I would sing these lyrics every week at our meetings. Now I’m a few decades on from failing to earn my badge in first aid, I can appreciate some of the simple – yet deep – things we learn as kids.
This year has been a pretty difficult one for me. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without my mates. My longest standing dyke friend who – in true lesbian fashion is an ex-shag and now my bestie – listened to me go on…and on…AND ON…dried my tears and kept me fed with mac and cheese. And my newest friend, who I randomly met canvassing for the Labour party – well, having heart to hearts hanging out at her allotment has been a highlight of my year. Through the trials and tribulations of 2014 I’ve learned that my friends are more dear to me than ever, and I must cherish them and always keep them close to my heart.
It’s good to be quiet. This year I shut up and spent a few weeks in an Anglican convent. A silent retreat is a challenge. No TV, radio, wifi, and barely 3G. But the clattering chattering of the world melts away after just a few hours in a walled, calm space. I needed to reflect on some major life decisions. It’s hard to do that with my iPhone pinging and a pile of laundry winking at me.
Silence wasn’t enforced – it was my choice. So, no sweat if I needed to ask someone to pass the salt. It was incredibly healing; now I have silent time every day. The nuns who looked after me are inspiring – feminists living an alternative, countercultural lifestyle. I have a lot of respect for them.
We are living in an ideological war zone. Next year’s General Election will define a generation. The past 5 years of the ConDem government have been horrendous – deep cuts to public services, a 400% increase in food banks, slashing support for students and disabled people, stagnant wages and sky high rents. All while millionaire foreign investors snap up tax free luxury apartments, the NHS is sold off and fatcats still get their six figure bonuses. We are most definitely NOT all in this together.
This is not just random Tory policy gone awry – it is deep ideological warfare. My vision of a just, equal society could not be further from the Tory truth. I believe the strongest have an obligation to help the weakest; that the gap between rich and poor should be closed, not split open wider. That women deserve true equality and misogyny must be stamped out. That the NHS is our most precious possession and must be preserved at all costs. That food banks are a disgrace in the sixth richest nation in the world. That the Conservative Party are so lacking in morals they are happy to see disabled people be stripped of support. This is a war that will be fought at the ballot box. Please vote for change.
“This is a war that will be fought at the ballot box. Please vote for change”
Volunteering is great. I visited my family in New Jersey in June this year. It just so happened my visit coincided with New Jersey Pride. With lots of time – and enthusiasm – to spare, I phoned them up and offered my services. It was an incredibly fun experience! I spent two days putting up marquees, setting out rubbish bins, collecting tickets, and checking out the lesbo eye candy. I proved – despite the butch naysayers – that it IS possible to lift heavy boxes of ‘Jersey Pride’ T-shirts while wearing a skirt, lipstick and pearls. It felt good to be a part of a queer community I come from – yet is 3,000 miles away.
Be fearless. My New Year’s resolution is always the same – Be Fearless – words of wisdom from my gay uncle that I vow to uphold every year. It’s a bloody hard resolution. This past year I really gave it a good go – I stood for Parliamentary Selection for the Labour Party. It was the most challenging thing I’ve ever done – months of full time planning, an intense eight weeks of campaigning 18 hours a day, delivering speeches, debating, analyzing policy and kissing babies. I had a super team of dedicated volunteers helping me, too. I set aside so many of my fears, including failure. I lost the selection. But I’m glad I did it. I was fearless. And there’s always next time.
• Twitter: @amylame
lovely, touching, tender, heartfelt and fearless piece of writing.
Happy holidays