What did each of the main parties’ manifestos have to say about LGBTQ issues? We put on our investigative wig caps, opened Google, and found out…
Green Party Plans to provide mandatory HIV, sex and relationship advice in schools and urge all other Commonwealth states to decriminalise homosexuality, which Her Maj will be pleased about cos it’s definitely something she’s been meaning to do for ages.
Labour Says it will tackle homophobic hate crime and appoint an International LGBT Rights Envoy to work towards the decriminalisation of homosexuality worldwide. Maybe with a new sales tactic- “No Gays, No Guns” or “Like our arms? You’ll LOVE our homos”.
Lib Dems The first party to commit to a gay rights policy in 1975, the Lib Dems say they’ll make homophobic chanting at football matches illegal and tackle international gay rights issues. And when the Lib Dems say they’re gonna do something you can damn well bet they might possibly maybe try… a bit.
Conservatives They’re still trying to make the Big Society happen (get over it guys, move on), so there’s lots of general talk about promoting tolerance. They also say they’ll pardon criminalised gay people from the past, which is important to Tories because that’s where they live.
SNP Says it will “make the case for the establishment of a special envoy – a diplomatic post within the Foreign Office – to promote the rights of LGBTI people throughout the world, as an integral part of UK foreign policy”. Very much what Labour said. Um, hello, starting a coalition much?! It always starts with the gays.
UKIP Nothing to see here folks, go home. UKIP didn’t include any mention of LGBT issues in their manifesto so we ain’t gonna mention them anymore here. That dick with the pint glass has had enough air-time.
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• The People’s Republic of Bourgeois of Maurice is at Brighton Spiegeltent on 9th May. www.brightonspiegeltent.com
• Middle of the Road with David Hoyle is at Soho Theatre 3rd-13th June. www.sohotheatre.com
