Leaving her stateside Tupperware ladies and parties behind for the bright lights of London Town, Dixie Longate brings her Off-Broadway hit to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern this month for two exclusive shows, and the proud member of the ‘number one Tupperware seller in the world’ club was more than eager to share her top tips with Jason Reid this week…
Dixie says: “I’ve been selling Tupperware for fourteen years now. If you had told me when I got out of prison that I would be leaving my trailer each night to go out and sell plastic bowls, I would have slapped you harder than a doctor slaps a newborn baby, but as luck would have it, I ended up sticking with it and I have learned more than my fair share of valuable life lessons by selling the iconic plastic bowls. So now I’m sharing that ever so sage advice with you, my great British fans…”
Tuppeware is Versatile
While most people think of Tupperware as an essential part of any kitchen, did you know that most things can be used in the bedroom as well? Sure, the celery keeper is great to keep your greens fresh, but it also keeps some of your favourite battery operated beauties ready close at hand and fresh as a spring time daisy.
Protect your plastic
Having some people over for an impromptu party? Pull out a few of the party bowls and fill them with chips and dips and an assortment of delicious things. When they ask for leftovers to take home because you are such a naturally delightful cook, tell them to hold their hands out and plop a hearty helping right there. Don’t let anyone take your Tupperware home. It will never be seen again. And your friends aren’t really that special in the first place, now are they?
First Impressions Count
Met a new friend behind the dumpster? If he or she ends up coming to your flat unannounced because you happened to slip your business card into their pants, you don’t want to be shocked or embarrassed when they open your fridge staring at spoiled food. Tupperware makes sure that your embarrassment stays out of the kitchen and ends up in the bedroom where it belongs.
Drive Responsibly
What makes every spin around a roundabout more fun when you are driving? Booze, that’s what. Now you will never be in a pickle again when you keep the Tupperware wine bottle opener in your glove box. Who needs gloves when uncorking a bottle of fine French wine at a red light will keep you warm enough?
Save Water and Your Pennies
Your Tupperware washes up quickly and easily just by throwing it in the dishwasher or if you aren’t all that well off and you’re living in the basement of an old librarian’s house or haven’t saved up enough money to move out of your folk’s house, and a dishwasher seems like a pie-in-the-sky luxury item, then just bring it into the shower with you in the morning and kill two birds with one stone.
And Finally…
I know you hate your in-laws. Especially when they incessantly talk about your sister’s new baby and wonder why you aren’t married and shooting out little ones like a tennis ball serving machine. Just take the chloroform from the bedside table and give it to the baby to play with. Kids are naturally curious and that nap will last a good long time. That doesn’t have anything to do with Tupperware, but it’s just a good, sound piece of advice.
• You can catch Dixie Longate’s Tupperware Extravaganza at the RVT on the Wednesday 26th.
