We love pointless award ceremonies as much as the next scene magazine, so, apropos of absolutely nothing, we thought we’d dole out some pointless prizes this week to our favourite advertisers and/or friends. So, fished straight out of the bin in Peckham Rye, it’s the MENZ AWARDZ.
Most Savage: SAVAGE
Best Night Named After a Sandra Bullock Film: GRAVITY
Most Birdlike: EAGLE
Best Pem: JANISHA (Bloc Bar)
Best Carbohydrate: JACQUI POTATO
Crispiest: LOLA LASAGNE
Best Bar Named After a Small Settlement: VILLAGE
Highest Number of Janet Jackson Tracks Played in One Night: R&She
Best Lighting for First Dates: CIRCA
Best Nieko: KU BAR
Longest Fag Break: GLENDORA
Most Glorious: THE GLORY
Best Guest Appearance on Birds of a Feather: DAVE LYNN
Baggiest Pipes: MARY MAC
Best Slot: MISS PENNY
Most Glorious: THE GLORY
Best Club Night Artwork Featuring Kim Woodburn: STRAIGHT NASTY
Best Duo: TWO BREWERS
Closest to Trafalgar Square: HALFWAY 2 HEAVEN
Most Central: CENTRAL STATION
Most Stable: THE STABLE
Best Foliage: THE YARD
Best Cackle/Cape Combo: JOHN SIZZLE
Best Smoking Area That’s Not Just The Street Outside: BLOC BAR
Caner of the Year: STACEY FROM ACCOUNTS & SARAH HARDING OF TV’S ‘THE JUMP’
Oldest Member: SILVER SUMMERS
Most Sexual Gym: SWEATBOX
Best Chrissy Darling: CHRISSY DARLING
Most Plus-Sized: XXL
Best Penis-Related Decor: BRUT
Grandest Dame: COMPTONS OF SOHO
Most Canadian: CITY OF QUEBEC
Best Postcode-Based Name: WEST 5
Biggest Boobathon: MZZ KIMBERLEY
Most Nautical: OLD SHIP
Tightest: NANCY CLENCH
Slag: LADY LLOYD
