Queen of elegance and cabaret juggernaut Baga Chipz works harder than a chancellor of the exchequer trying to avoid the press. But when she’s not putting out her cigarette on Lady Lloyd or singing songs from way before she was born at the Admiral Duncan, what does she get up to? This week Jason Reid takes a sneak, exclusive peek into Baga’s World…
Morning Routine
I wake up around 4pm, have a fag in bed followed by a cigarette, wipe me self down with a Johnson’s Baby Wipe then go to the bog to unleash last night’s gin.
Exercise
There’s nowt better than a good old shag! I do like a fitness video too though. Princess Jade Goody’s Dance and Step is a belter; and I always walk to the shop three times a day for me fags.
Food
We love a Bernard Matthews roast with dinosaur shapes in our house. You get plenty of Iceland bonus points. Mr Chipz (my fella, not the little yellow bastard from catchphrase) always gives the kids (Donna Ann, Rowan and Ebola) a few bags of crisps or a quid for the chippy whilst I’m in bed signing autographs for the fans. I then get out me pit and put their tea on: Turkey Twizzlers with Smiley Faces and a side of Bombay Mix to be cultural. I order a Chinese for myself. Everyday. Old habits die hard.
Drink
Gin. And lots of it. I like a nice jägerbomb or sambucca when the mood takes me. Panda Pops for the kids. All those E numbers and sugar gets them through the day.
Music
When the kids fuck off in the daytime to play in the street, I mince around me coffee room listening to the greatest hits of Jane McDonald. I love that woman. The Diana of the north! I pop on a bit of Cilla Black, Hilda Baker and Arthur Mullard at the end of the night when I’m on me own int’ back yard with a fag on and a large gin, like a young (and alive) Lynn Perrie.
Film
Schindler’s list, to cheer the kids up; Rita, Sue and Bob too for shits and giggles, and Summer Holiday for our Cliff! Ohhhhhh that man, what an absolute dream boat! He can do me up the love chuff any day.
Telly
Being in the public eye, I don’t really get to mix with the ‘normal’ people so I like to watch Location, Location, Location to see where the peasants live. I also watch The Antiques Roadshow to see how much Sandra’s worth these days. Oh, and Corrie of course. It’s like a religion to me. Worshipping at the high altar of Gail McIntrye four times a week.
Going out
When I’m not down the bingo I’m always in the Admiral Duncan, dear. They can’t get enough of me! Always a standing ovation (they don’t have chairs). This Easter weekend I will be flaunting me elegance at The White Swan and The Two Brewers, too.
Literature
Just Julie by Julie Goodyear is my personal fave. Some of me other favourites are Still Standing by the nation’s sweetheart, Kerry Katona, Doctor’s Orders by Harold Shipman, and I do like to look at the pictures in those brochures you see in the clap clinic.
Easter
We don’t really do Easter or Easter eggs in our house, mostly due to the fact that two of my kids are still in nappies, which costs a bastard fortune considering I now have to pay for them to nappy their kids as well. Oxtail soup was a fave of mine…NOT ANYMORE!
Clothes
Anything Liz McDonald from Corrie would wear. Like I’ve been vomited on by a leopard. Band of Gold chic if I’m working a late on the lane. The punters like it, so who am I to deprive them of that basic human right. I’m a woman who likes to please.
