By Dylan Jones
My Spotify playlist has been having a bit of a scene renaissance lately! And for once by scene, I don’t mean gay scene, I mean SCENE scene! Scene kid scene! Vans-wearing, Skins-watching, neon-touting SCENE KIDS! I was totes a scene kid. I had the fringe. I had the Pete Wentz poster. I had the louche attitude. I had the bandana with cannabis leaves on it.
My music taste was also scene kid, but REALLY REALLY GAY scene kid. So here are some absolutely fucking awful tracks I used to storm around to when I was 14. Look ‘em up, they’re a right hoot.
The Medic Droid – ‘Fer Sure’
Hahaha this one was vile! My friend Hannah and I used to sit behind the bins at school and play this on her Motorola Razr (?!) and we’d swig lambrini and mouth all the words. Horrible lyrics about cumming in people’s hair. And they wore horrible big sunglasses. BUT WE LOVED THEM. And because we were drinking alcohol and listening to music with swearing in, everyone thought we were like, way cool. Fer Sure, was our fave. It was the most vile.
Jeffree Star – ‘Lollipop Luxury’
Jeffree Star is arguably the most successful thing to come out of the scene kid phenomenon. He became a MySpace celebrity through his extreme androgynous looks. In the Drag Race-muddied waters of today’s social media, no-one would’ve batted an eyelid, but back in 2007 it captured the imagination of queer teenagers everywhere. Some of his music was a fucking trainwreck, and some of it was actually quite legitimate industrial/punk. My fave was always sweary synth banger Lollipop Luxury. Unlike pretty much every other product of the MySpace generation, Jeffree still has credibility today, as a makeup artist. His line of cosmetics is making millions, and all the drag queens I know swear by his lipstick collection. Go Jeffree!
Kelly – ‘Shoes’
EVERYONE remembers this! It was the most-watched video on YouTube for a while! Errmaahhgaahhd shoes! You’ll probably have seen that it recently turned ten years old. It came out TEN YEARS AGO. That gave me one of my first ever “oh my god I’m getting old” jolts. Anyway I don’t need to explain Shoes to you, because you’ve all seen it, and it’s kind of impossible to explain anyway. You kind of had to be there. SHOES.
