The UK may be a small country, but we’re a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham’s right foot. David Beckham’s left foot. David Beckham’s arse. David Beckham’s bulge. Victoria Beckham. ‘Let Your Head Go’. AND PANTOMIMES.
Yeah, pantos are a distinctly proud British tradition. *stands for national anthem, accidentally spills warm ale on mustard cords* You can’t really imagine anyone on the continent able to communicate as much mirth in one raised eyebrow or fit as many tenuous puns into such a small time period. And, gay pantos are, well, even more.
Prince Bendover at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern is a hoot of an evening. To call it saucy is an understatement. Jokes about rimming, sucking, and fisting, intermingled with your standard ‘he’s behind you’ and ‘oh no he isn’t’. There’s even a few President Donald Trump jokes chucked in, all the more impressive considering it’s barely been a week. The audience started belly-laughing from the off and didn’t stop until curtain close.
We could give you an outline of the plot, but let’s be honest, no-one goes to the panto for a thrilling plot or character development. You go on the off-chance you might be squirted on by a stage-vagina. You hope there’ll be a completely unrelated but hilarious song ‘n dance routine with a policeman parking their truncheon where it doesn’t belong. And you want to leave feeling all christmassy and fuzzy and wanting to drink nothing but eggnog until 2017. And Prince Bendover delivers on all fronts.
The cast of five looked like they were having a scream performing it, which is always infectious. Topsie Redfern plays a brassy, sassy cat and is the sexiest feline since George Galloway pulled on that red leotard. Faye Reeves is wonderful as a cackling, shape-shifting schemer, while Kris Webb is just darling as the ditzy queen. Eye candy comes by the way of Cumalot, played by Adam Gass as some sort of unlockable Mario Karts character, and the raging horn of Prince Bendover himself is dizzily captured by Alan Hunter.
To all those who’ve had their mouse timorously hovering over their ‘FESTIVE MARIAH MEGA-MIX’ Spotify playlist, or those who’ve been wearing their Christmas jumper inside the house since Halloween, then just do it. Get a ticket. Embrace the Christmas spirit with this festive filth extravaganza.
• Prince Bendover In Boots is at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. Tickets £12 early bird, £16 general admissions. Every weeknight in December, through to 4th and 5th January. Doors 7pm, show 8pm.
