Disco, Blisters & A Comedown

Disco blisters

Dylan Jones’s roundup of new music for people who like music.

This week’s Disco, Blisters & A Comedown selections are particularly obscure and bizarre. And as has become customary for this column, we’re *ahem* TOEING THE LINE a little bit with the concept of “new music.” “New music” basically means any music that came out after 2014. Or not even that really, it might have come out ages ago and I’ve just discovered it and decided I liked it. We’re also pushing the definition of “music” a bit. But in a sonorous landscape where Ed Sheeran is the world’s biggest popstar, anything goes really doesn’t it. I knew it was a comedy, go for it kids!


Cupcakke – lgbt

Cupcakke hails from Chicago and only uses lowercase letters. Lowercase is becoming a very millennial aesthetic. I’m not sure how I feel about it. It does mean SLIGHTLY less work for me as a writer, not having to hit that shift key so much. Anyway, Cupcakke is an absolute joy! She’s full of infectious energy and excitable glee. “lgbt” is an empowering rap track about the gleeful hedonism of socializing with the queer community. Well, we know all about THAT don’t we. ‘Fuck out the way when you see me!’ she screeches ‘We rollin’ with lgbt/Lookin’ like we belong on TV!’ Quite right Cupcakke. Welcome to the fold!


Loreen – Statements

The latest offering from Scandinavian queen of synth and split ends, “Statements” is TOOTH TINGLY good. It was Loreen’s entry for this year’s Swedish Eurovision selection process, Melodifestivalen, and she controversially did not get through! Lady Lloyd was absolutely fuming about it! She was so upset she almost didn’t have a drink. “Statements” represents everything we love about scandi pop – it’s dark, it’s serious, it’s sexy. If it were a Hollywood actress it’d be Eva Green. Perfect to play whilst having frenetic, aggressive sex on top of a glacier. Or perhaps just on the kitchen floor while you’re defrosting the freezer. Where IS the nearest glacier anyway? Iceland? That’s, like, Zone 6 isn’t it?


She’s A Mess – Sugababes

 

An unreleased album track by the Sugababes, during their worst incarnation – Heidi, Amelle, and the other one…Jade? Fun fact: There’s an antique shop on Essex Road called “Amelle’s Antiques” and there have been unconfirmed reports that it’s actually being run by Amelle off of the Sugababes. What would a former Sugababe even put in an antique shop?! Maybe a pink chaise-longue. Or a peeling vanity mirror. Or Mutya Buena. ANYWAY, this much can be said for “She’s A Mess” – that’s a strong song title. And contrary to popular belief, you can tell a lot about a song by its title – Ed Sheeran’s “Shape Of You”, for example, is a really crap, uninspiring title. And it’s a crap, uninspiring song. So there ya go. “She’s A Mess”, on the other hand is…well…is actually crap as well. But crap in a fun way, like Greggs. The high point is a cringe-inducing rap bridge by Amelle, where she puts on a South London (SARRF LONDON) accent, despite the fact that she was actually born in Aldershot, a quaint little town in Hampshire. That’s right Amelle, we’ve done our research. Maybe that’s where she gets her antiques from.

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