Ahead of their Royal Wedding celebrations this Saturday, the Athena boys gives us their eight royal wedding rules!
If like Theresa May, your invitation to the nuptials of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle was seemingly misplaced, do not fret! Cult 80s-indebted club night Athena are putting on an alternative day-into-night-into slurring early morning party for you, paying tribute to the most opulent ceremony of the decade, that of Dynasty’s Amanda Carrington and Prince Michael of Moldavia. Guests will arrive at Eagle for 5pm to enjoy canapés, bubbles and air-kissing, before toasts, speeches, games and the full Moldavian wedding episode on the big screens inside. After that, Athena DJs play overwrought, synth-laden 80s pop stormers, with a few wedding favourites chucked in for good measure!
But in amongst the salmon blinis and first dances, Athena are more than aware that weddings are rarely straightforward and can be fraught with catty politics. Luckily, DJ Paul Joseph has shared some of the crucial rules to abide by for a drama-free day!
1. Please don’t throw confetti. You may however throw diamonds, Rolex watches and punches.
2. Refrain from smoking indoors. There will be too much hairspray, polyester and vodka.
3. It is quite possible a guest will be the long lost son, daughter, brother, sister, niece, pet or personal stylist of another guest. However they should refrain from any major revelations until after the ceremony.
4. Anyone catching the bouquet must have either a title or be part of an elite family dynasty. Should some randy commoner happen to catch it, they should hand it back. We don’t want another Sarah Ferguson to deal with.
5. The first dance has to be a pop song from the early to mid ‘80s. We suggest Two Tribes by Frankie Goes to Hollywood or Madonna’s Like a Virgin.
6. Don’t sit the Mother of The Bride and the Stepmother of The Bride within slapping distance of each other.
7. You may be on your fifth or sixth husband but this may be the Bride’s first, so try to hold off on the sassy quips. Who knows, it may last a month or two.
8. Never be without a drink in hand – you don’t know when you may need to throw it in someone’s face and storm out dramatically.
Athena’s Wedding Royale is on Saturday 19th May at Eagle London, 349 Kennington Lane, SE11 5QY, 5pm-4am, Wedding Royale advance ticket £10,
£6 for Athena club night after 9pm
