Rose Garden’s getting roasted, and she’s got something to say!
It’s almost that time of the year again, when we settle ourselves down with a triple G&T to watch the sparks fly!
Over the coming weeks, we’ll be counting down to this year’s RVT and QX Drag Comedy Roast, and chatting to the queens involved, who are all busy sharpening their claws and concocting their most wicked verbal takedowns in preparation for the big night.
As always, ALL proceeds from the roast will go directly to HIV/AIDS charity, Terrence Higgins Trust. So there’s no excuse not to buy a ticket or twelve. This week, Jason Reid chats to the queen who will be on the roastee throne; here she is boys, here she is world, it’s ROSE GARDEN…
Are you looking forward to getting roasted like a sow on a spit by Miss Penny, Mrs Moore, Miss Jason & Tia Kofi?
I’m looking forward to it with a sense of trepidation. I’ve been a roaster in the past, so I guess it was only a matter of time before I took the hot seat. I was honoured to be asked by the RVT and QX, and it’s all for such a wonderful cause. I’m simultaneously giddy with excitement and shitting my panties.
How did you decide upon your roasters?
I wanted some close friends but they were all busy with work, so I’ve ended up with this shower of shit. You have to make do in life.
What are you expecting from those bitches, and how are you preparing?
I’m expecting a full-on sacrificial slaughter, nothing less. I don’t think anyone can prepare to be assassinated [laughs].
Give us a taster of what to expect on the night! Finish his sentence: When I first met Miss Penny I thought…
You can roll a turd in glitter but it’s still a piece of shit!
How would you describe Mrs Moore’s act to a blind person?
I wouldn’t need to as they’d be able to smell the skittle-bombs and hear her poppers cough from the other side of the room.
What do you admire most about Miss Jason?
Her unique ability to always, without question…sing out of tune.
Who’s Tia Kofi?
You tell me. Isn’t she in a Sugababes tribute band or something? I picked her out of the Drag Idol leftovers tray.
Which comedy roasts of past have had you howling?
Out of all the roasts I’ve seen, and I’ve seen a fair few, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg was the best. They were both so funny and irreverent. Also, Tanya Hyde at last year’s RVT roast – that bitch had me crying with laughter.
Obviously it’s all about the shade but mutual respect and love is also important in a roast. Who and what do you love most in life?
My wife, Sonbon; Kate Bush, men, sex, booze, sex, my friends and did I mention: SEX!
If you could change anything in the world right now, what would it be and why?
The world is a very strange place at the moment and there is much that needs to be changed for the better, but personally I would have to change the marriage equality laws in Northern Ireland. It’s the only place in the UK where same sex marriage is not recognised. That is shameful.
Do you have a message for your roasters?
Bring it on, bitches! Mud will be flung. You can run but you can’t hide. I’m from Northern Ireland, I know how to use a gun.
The Comedy Roast of Rose Garden is at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern
on Thursday 23rd August. Tickets: vauxhalltavern.com
