We meet some Christmas witches at acclaimed East London queer establishment, The Glory!
The Glory fucking love Christmas. In fact, they love pretty much every public holiday. Easter. Halloween. The anniversary of Princess Diana’s death. Amanda Freeman’s birthday. You name it, they’ll be there, wigs at the ready, with fifty quid’s worth of decorations from that weird shop on Kingsland Road that sells tinsel and Christmas crap, but also sells plastic princess mirrors and mop buckets and mix ‘n’ match flip flops for £1.50. And a soft toy pitbull terrier that sings songs by Pitbull if you squeeze it.
This year at The Glory it’s ALL GO. It’s bedlam! It’s madness! It’s carpets! It’s carpet madness! With a shimmering roster of some of London’s brightest drag and cabaret talent and events every single night. Some people just open their pub, put some beer mats out, bish bash bosh. Not The Glory! They don’t wanna know your mum’s your best friend! They want HIPS, TITS, LIPS, DRAG!
With this shoot, we wanted to reflect that, so we’ve got some of their glitteriest and glowering alumni. Head honcho John Sizzle, zeitgeist initiator Princess Julia, high-kicking harlot Margo Marshall, dashing drag king dish Chiyo, hi-fash and brash TAYCE and glitter-spattered Grace Shush!
We asked them a bunch of silly questions about Christmas. See below! For more info on all the Glory’s goings on, read this mag, or head to theglory.co.
JOHN SIZZLE
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
I’ve roller-skated around Selfridges dressed as a skanky angel with Jonny Woo & Ma Butcher as part of their December ‘immersive skanks’ offering circa 2013. We were also booked to go up and down the escalators in full panto garb. Our Gay Bingo years were very, very festive!
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?)
A poppers fuelled, NYC Downlow party at Battersea Power Station would be camp. Invite all the guys and gals that work on the scene together, snort a load of sprouts and pump up dat volume. I’d be up and down through huge chimneys all night long, hun.
SHAG, MARRY, KILL: SANTA, JESUS, THE MUM FROM HOME ALONE? WITH REASONS FOR EACH.
Shag Santa: Got to say that, right? I did marry the brute. Kill Mum from home alone only cos I don’t watch shit movies…unless everyone is naked in them, obvs.
Marry Jesus: Only to make Virgin Xtravaganzah my mother-in-law. She’d be LIVID!
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
Margate. LOL! Joking!
Have you ever had a cheeky Christmas bonk?
I’ve cracked a few off under the table during a game of Monopoly…in Margate.
Right, time for a SERIOUS question [PLEASE BE HONEST] – is Father Christmas real?
Nothing is real unless it jizzes in yer face, slaps yer one and knicks yer iPhone.
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
It’s better to receive, don’t you think? Preferably several times. Now THAT’S a Happy Christmas!
@johnsizzle
CHIYO
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
Sometimes I’m nice to people. That’s quite festive innit.
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?)
Omg we’re throwing a MASSIVE QTIPOC festive party, celebrating all cultures, a variety of food. Lord knows I’ll make some Angolan cuisine and blow minds with those festive flavours! We’re banning Michael Buble from the playlist but Mariah and Ariana can stay.
SHAG, MARRY, KILL: SANTA, JESUS, THE MUM FROM HOME ALONE? WITH REASONS FOR EACH.
Fuck Jesus, you know I want that Holy dick. Marry the mum from Home Alone, she’s quite cute. Kill Santa because he never brings me anything anyway – maybe I’m just too poor for his love.
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
Ooooooh, telenovela shenanigans at my household. Last year we ended up spending all of Christmas just three of us because the rest of my family stormed out.
Have you ever had a cheeky christmas bonk?
Christmas Grindr for bants. Slipped the tip in for bants
Right, time for a SERIOUS question [PLEASE BE HONEST] – is Father Christmas real?
Yeah and he’s not a white man.
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
The gift of having my mum around is always gonna be the ultimate win.
@chiyogomes
GRACE SHUSH
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
Rimmed Santa.
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?)
I want a party where all my friends perform, unlimited bar (cocktails), gifts galore and Barbra Streisand performs and we become best friends, and for food it would all be all the best bits of a Christmas dinner – pigs in blankets all that jaz!
SHAG, MARRY, KILL: SANTA, JESUS, THE MUM FROM HOME ALONE.
SHAG – Santa (Daddy) MARRY – JESUS (Unlimited wine and food) KILL THE MOM.
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
MISS MY TRAIN HOME. Christmas is a big deal in the Shush household!
Have you ever had a cheeky Christmas bonk?
A non-binary individual never kisses and tells.
Right, time for a SERIOUS question [PLEASE BE HONEST] – is Father Christmas real?
Poppa can you hear me!?! OF COURSE HE IS!
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
I used to always wish to be a super hero, after telling my sister she brought me an X-men comic from the month and year I was born
@thegraceshush
MARGO MARSHALL
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
Drinking mulled wine dressed as Mrs Claus at a Christmas choir concert.
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?)
Studio 54, Liza singing jazzy carols, Madonna singing Santa baby as a duet with me, followed by stupid amounts champagne, cocaine and disco disco discooooooo. No food. Gross.
SHAG, MARRY, KILL: SANTA, JESUS, THE MUM FROM HOME ALONE.
Shag Santa, I love a thick man. Marry Jesus, would be lovely political moment. Kill the mum from Home Alone – who calls their kid Kevin?
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
I spilled mulled wine over a bride at this hideous winter fairytale wedding. I regret nothing.
Have you ever had a cheeky Christmas bonk?
I have an s&m reindeer act what do you think !?
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
Madonna tickets!
@margo_marshall
PRINCESS JULIA
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
I mostly enjoy the festive buildup tbh, that’s a continuing festive lol.
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?
I’d like to be with all you lot at The Glory which actually is where I’m going to be so that’s handy!
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
Forgot to turn the oven on as a child so Christmas dinner was somewhat late- my parents were out working if you’re wondering, no wonder I’m not majorly christmassy.
Have you ever had a cheeky christmas bonk?
What does that even mean?
Right, time for a SERIOUS question [PLEASE BE HONEST] – is Father Christmas real?
No, you’re all brainwashed.
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
Oh, an iPad that is very handy.
@hrhprincessjulia
TAYCE
What’s the most festive thing you’ve ever done?
Been knocking down Christmas trees since 94. We love a festive accident.
Given the chance (and unlimited funds) what would your dream festive party involve? (Which venue, guests, performers, food/drink/narcotics would you have?
I’d get everyone I know and love, have a camp old dinner consisting of the entire Mcdonalds festive menu, with some 40s chrimbo BOPS playing in the background. Then get absolutely smashed and camp it up for the rest of the night.
SHAG, MARRY, KILL: SANTA, JESUS, THE MUM FROM HOME ALONE? WITH REASONS FOR EACH.
Shag Santa as it’s Christmas and he deserves the D. Marry the mum from home alone cuz I want that massive house. And kill Jesus cuz scandal.
What’s the most disastrous thing that’s happened to you at Christmas?
Does disaster strike at Christmas? Not for me babehh I’m to busy being a camp Christmas bitch.
Have you ever had a cheeky christmas bonk?
I’ll never tell.
Right, time for a SERIOUS question [PLEASE BE HONEST] – is Father Christmas real?
Google it.
And finally…what’s the best present you’ve ever had?
My family. It’s always the biggest treat coming home for Christmas and seeing everyone.
@tayceszuraradix
