22/08/14: Dry your eyes babe, for all that wailin’ and ballin’ isn’t going to change the fact the last Bank Holiday of the summer is OVAH. But we went out on top form, as I sidled ‘round the Soho streets with snapper extraordinaire, me old mucker Joel Ryder.
Kicking off in Halfway II Heaven (7 Duncannon Street, WC2N 4JF) with some cock-frockin’ cabaret delights to the Charing Cross massive, the bar that welcomes can always be relied on to serve up some rollicking entertainment and stacks of friendly cheer with each pint pulled. We like to sit on the knee of a random regular at the bar and pretend we’re classy call girls with a room booked at the hotel above the train station. No? Just us? They love it!
Suitably dragged out, time to totter to twink town (Try saying that on your fifth shandy) and up to Ku Bar (30 Lisle Street, WC2H 7BA) And who the HELL would want to miss out on Ku-shaped deliciousness? The beautiful bar boys (Oh God… So hot. Can’t even.) were rocking #ComeOutAndPlay hashtag cards, stuffed delicately into their low-slung jeans. We had hoped the hashtag wasn’t talking to the customers, but rather directly to the penises of said bar boys, but either way, it’s a winner. Pop-based tomfoolery coupled with dapper boys, gorgeous ladies and one kween really givin’ it on the dancefloor with the ‘Naomi elbow’ popping out and ready to party. υ
Shimmying up to Old Compton and into the Grand Dame of Soho Comptons (51-53 Old Compton Street, W1D 6HN) – she’s rocking some sassy new stylings these days don’tchaknow. HiFi Sean blasted out some cock-rocking, block-rumblin’ beats to a crowd of furry revellers, muscled-up fellas, twinkalings and beardy boys. A great atmosphere and we love twirling round the massive bar, stroking chest hair and twirling facial hair of random clientele.
There she is! Strutting up Frith Street, and you know when there’s a gaggle of gayers pouring out the top of the road, it’s going to be yet another massive night at Circa (62 Frith Street, W1D 3JN). Ram-packed and roaring, Munroe bashes out the Friday night beats with a tongue-firmly-in-cheek and the tunes set to ‘epic’, while the hottest boys in town cackle with gusto and attempt to hide from that bitch they picked up in there the weekend before. Oh Circa, never change.
Last but certainly not least, The Edge (11 Soho Square, W1D 3JN) is looking hotter than a Hollywood starlet, and has had almost as much reconstruction through the years. But y’all may have missed the subtle tweaks over time ‘cos you were too busy shocking out til 3am every weekend! Four beautiful floors, stacks of massive tunes, Felicia oiling up her muscleboys, hot lads, fit girls and a McDonalds right round the corner for the stagger home. 3am Big Mac? You’re winning at life. YOU’RE WINNING HONEY!
Words by Lee Dalloway
Photos by Joel Ryder