14/06/13: Why does the tube journey to Brewers, always lead to (extremely loud) tipsy impressions of TOWIE tarts?
We’re not sure, and while we’re no Francine Lewis – we nailed it. Cut to us bellowing “Oh shu’uup” down the carriage. Ready for a memorable night? “100% hunaaay”.
We hadn’t been to the Two Brewers on a Friday in a while, so salontro’ing through the crowds of Clapham cuties, made us feel like fresh meat again; though whether we’d feel like a prime piece of steak or just a battered kebab at the end of the night, only time could tell.
Watching the hilarious stage show, it wasn’t long before we were in stitches. And who was the ‘lady’ in the glitzy get-up with more gall than Kanye West at an awards ceremony. It could only be The Drag With No Name – don’t worry love – we couldn’t remember ours after that fourth shot either.
Or that of the man we were straddling in the back room. Until we found him exchanging numbers with some Primark poof – then we remembered it was ‘wanker’. “Next!”
After a touch of comedy and cabaret we were ready to skank out like Janet Jackson on half a dozen uppers – although we probably looked like Britney on half a dozen downers.
When the DJ dropped ‘Dirty Talk’ (after a shamelessly flirtatious request) it brought a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘LIVING’. The Two Brewers served another eventful Friday, and you know you’ve had a good night when you’ve been barred from the Clapham KFC.
Two Brewers, 114 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UJ
Words by Anthony Gilét
Photos by Joel Ryder
