Parties & PeopleRiverside Tavern: Marcus Collins

Riverside Tavern: Marcus Collins

06/09/14: If there’s anything that gets la Jockstrap hot under the collar and hard in the knickers, it’s a good ex-X Factor contestant.

After saving Marcus Collins’ picture as our phone background, and handing out flags with his face on to everyone in our train carriage on the way down to Kent whilst powering through a bottle of Lambrini, we felt royally in the mood when we descended unsteadily upon The Riverside Tavern for his star turn. And by the salivating crowd inside, everyone else’s thoughts were on the same train.

Everywhere people whispered about what he would do on stage, and most had bets on who he would do afterwards; yours truly pushed her way to the front, elbows and weave first, natch. Then Collins stormed on to rapturous applause, treating us to five of his show stopping X Factor tunes including ‘Moves Like Jagger’ and ‘Higher and Higher’. And was it hot in Kent that night?

Because he only lost half his clothes half-way through performance, and we lost our balance as our legs involuntarily spread. Phew! Understandably, there were no complaints. After a sultry performance of soul and sass, the eminent gent chin-wagged and charmed the fans and Collins-cock-chasers alike – we place a leg in both camps – for photo opportunities and even stayed to sink a whisky or two with us illustrious winos.

A truly amazing night, which wasn’t even really dented by the sad discovery that Collins had made good his escape through the bathroom window to avoid our clutches. Next time, Collins. And here’s to Stooshe performing on the 27th September at Kent’s most fearsome pop gigging venue, the Riverside Tavern!

Canal Road, Strood, Rochester, Kent, ME2 4DR
Words by Jackie Jockstrap

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