SLUTS ON TOUR!

The Dalston Gay Mafia packed its drag bag and hit Germany last month for GutterSlut’s second Berlin party. A posse of 19 flew out – and two didn’t make it back! Cliff Joannou pieces together the memories of one mental weekend…

Last year, the GutterSlut boys (aka the self-styled Dalston Gay Mafia that is Per QX, Ralf and Nic Fisher) took the party, along with about, oh, say 40 of their nearest and dearest, off to Berlin for the club’s first event in the German capital. When your entourage includes the likes of Jonny Woo and A Man To Pet, you can be sure your EasyJet flight’s gonna be an interesting one!

For those out there who have yet to sample the GutterSlut experience, here’s a quick recap: The club was born over four years ago, taking over a venue that was a hetero strip bar by day, and a rockin’ den of homo excess come the weekend, playing everything from underground electro to funked-up techno, while the Disco Slut room kept things slightly more bouncy.

Fast forward to 2012 and the club continues to shake Shoreditch out something silly every month having relocated to East Bloc – a former strip bar, no less… I see a pattern developing here.

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So, the first Berlin party kicked serious butt. I was invited, but I stupidly declined because I had an appointment getting my nails done or something equally ridiculous. I sure as fuck wasn’t gonna miss the second outing. But nothing could have prepared me for what was to come! So much so that the week before our travels I emailed Per, jokingly stating how I was more than just a lil’ nervous about the trip.

You see my regular clubbing bredrin are hardcore, but I’ve partied with the GutterSlut crew on many an occasion in the past and these bitches really are summink else. And I wasn’t wrong.

This time, a more modest crew of nineteen people flew out for the event arriving over the course of the Friday in small groups, with all of us staying in apartments in south-east Berlin.

We gathered for dinner, kind of a ‘last supper’ before the chaos ensued. At the table were Mikki Most (Dalston Superstore owner, TrailerTrash promoter and DJ), D’Johnny, A Man To Pet, Crystal MC, Tony Hornecker (avant-garde artist and creator of the pop-up restaurant Pale Blue Door) and more. All very civilized and rather cultured.

Fast-forward four hours and our erstwhile ‘Slut posse descended on the venue, Lovelite, a little merry and more than a little mental. A former car garage, the club was so typically Berlin: rough around the edges, yet busting with character and the quirky qualities we simply love about the city.

From the graffiti-covered toilet walls, to the oddball original décor that was part of the venue in its previous life, it suited the GutterSlut style to a tee. Per QX, Nic Fisher and D’Johnny headed-up the main room, as A Man To Pet dazzled in the DiscoSlut room with the odd main floor showstopping performance, alongside our new DJ God, Makode, a wonderful Berlin local who sparkled on the decks.

Crystal MC took the party to another level as ever, with her glorious ghetto-fabulous vocals, and engaged in some serious Disco Olympics when Tony Hornecker spun her around and the poor gal went flying into the decks, winding her somewhat serious! (It wasn’t until the after-hours on Saturday afternoon after twelve hours of non-stop dancing that she turned around to Per and said that she was in so much pain and couldn’t breath.

A rush to the hospital revealed that she’d broken a rib and had a collapsed lung that saw her hospitalized for the whole week! Don’t worry guys, she’s a trooper and made it back home… eventually.)

There were countless other random moments that contributed to a memorable night from the dancefloor headstands through to the giant stuffed panda via the inflatable cocks and dolls. Come 5am, tanked-up, toasted and moderately trollied (What, you expected us to share a few shandies and head home before sunrise?) we ventured out into the daylight and onwards to a weekend of further debauchery.

I could tell you about the following days (and nights) at Berghain, but a lady never reveals all. I will, however, leave you with this: it was soooo much fun that Per QX missed his flight home (again) refusing to leave Berlin and was last seen propping-up the bar at Panarama Bar dishing out Jägermeister shots…



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GutterSlut is back in the UK at East Bloc (217-219 City Road, EC1V 1JN) on Saturday 28th April, 11pm-6am.

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