19/09/15: We love a bit of XXL. How can you not, really. Britney Spears remixes, flashing lights and hundreds of hot hairy men. It’s what every boy dreams of!
Well, not every boy. Around one in ten boys, statistically. ANYWAY last weekend it was their 15th birthday. Which means they burst into existence out of the woods in the year 2000!
Out in force to help them celebrate the night were Team QX (us, you’re reading QX), the Kings Cross Steelers and a host of performers including Dr Woof and Myra Dubois! Dr Woof swept around the stage in a nun’s habit with a flashing crucifix necklace (just as god intended it), while Myra was suitably self-deprecating and unenthusiastic (we wouldn’t have it any other way).
There were also several trays of finger food! Donuts, croissants, Danish pastries, even CRAB & CRACKED BLACK PEPPER SANDWICHES and MATURE CHEDDER & CARAMELISED ONION KETTLE CHIPS. This is why we love bears! They know how to eat! If it’d been the birthday party of a twink club night, there would have been, if we were LUCKY, maybe a single lollipop on one tray and Tom Daley with an apple in his mouth on the other. Nothing to get your teeth into. All bone and gristle.
After the food and performances were the inevitable drinking, dancing courtesy of Wayne G’s thumping DJ set and debauchery, which as we all know is always the best bit. Can’t really remember getting home. Not sure if we did get home! Might still be there. This sofa we’re writing the review on does feel a bit like the leather ones they’ve got. We’ll get back to you. But yes as always, nice one XXL. A big, hairy 10/10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOOO *pulls party popper*.
Pulse 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF
Words by Joel Ryder
Photos by Dylan Jones
