Case Of The Hex

They gave us ‘Wings’, told us to ‘Move’, they made us ‘Salute’ and now they’re unleashing some ‘Black Magic’ on us, taking us all the way back to high school. It’s Little Mix!

To celebrate their brand new single, as well as their performance at G-A-Y this Saturday, Dom Pop take a look at their CHARMING new video. Move over Sabrina, there’s four hot new teenage witches in town!

 


Of course, if you’ve ever watched American television, all the supernatural shit goes down in high school. This one is a bit like She’s All That meets The Craft. Our fab foursome are looking a little…less glam than we’ve come to expect though. In fact to quote the legendary Dionne from Clueless, “She is TOE-UP.”

In the entertainment industry, nerd means a supermodel wearing a pair of glasses and some chunky knitwear. That’s more or less the vibe here too. None of the boys can see how gorgeous the Mix minxes are behind all those prescription lenses and polyester blends. Though Leigh still looks fairly flawless. Instead they’re giving their attention to what looks like a child prostitute who came to school in a velour bra. I’m horrified. Little Mix are horrified. We’re all horrified.

During some study time in the library with their BEATS BY DRE HEADPHONES, Jade gets clocked on the weave by a dusty old tome. Oh well, probs more useful than the copy of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ you were going cry into, babe. The book starts to sparkle and the birds gather round like the magpies they are. Something MAGICAL is afoot. Side note: where is their librarian? Mr Giles wouldn’t have let this sort of fiasco occur.

Because television, books and common sense have taught them NOTHING, the Little Mix ladies decide to fuck around with the dark arts. Thankfully it doesn’t get too dire, aside from that hideous shade of purple Perrie decides to glamour her hair into. If it didn’t work for Cheryl Cole, it’s sure as shit not gonna work for you!

So with a bit of fairy dust and shockingly inappropriate-for-a-scholastic-environment outfits, the Charmed Ones v2 rock up to school to wreak revenge on the bleach blonde bitch who dicked them over at the start. Their solution? To make her queef loudly and odorously in front of her beau.

Some more magical hijinks ensue as the girls give a geek his best day ever by magically roofie-ing a pretty piss-poor Little Mix tribute band into giving him a kiss (and probably a hand shandy in the locker rooms later).

Our hex symbols round out a busy day of causing minor inconveniences to people they don’t like, by interrupting their lecture with an enchanted dance party. Don’t you know that a girl like a boy who moves? Extensions are tossed, paisley tit slings are shaken and lyrics are mouthed appallingly. It is wonderful. But don’t expect to pass your BTEC this way, Jesy.

And there you go. The sensational new video to the SCREAMINGLY good pop song that is Black Magic by ‘Little Mix’.

Somewhere right now, Willow Rosenberg, Prue Halliwell, Sabrina Spellman and Nancy Downs are probably booking a choreographer and some studio time to hop this bandwagon.

 

• Little Mix are at G-A-Y @ Heaven (Under the Arches, Villiers Street, Charing Cross, WC2N 6NG) on Saturday 4th July, 11pm-5am. Discount entry wristbands available at G-A-Y Bar.

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