For one month only, the Two Brewers’ new night BALL shifts itself to a Sunday for an evening of festive fabulousness entitled A Christmas Carol, all in aid of HIV charity The Food Chain, with a stellar line up of cabaret including La Voix, Miss Penny, Sandra and Lady Diamond. Ahead of the big night, hosts CK gave Jason Reid a rundown of their all time favourite Christmas songs (and a few turkeys) this week…
The Twelve Days of Christmas – Mitzi Macintosh (2014)
Crystal: Every since I saw Mitzi’s version of this Christmas classic I’ve been in love with it, and it’s been up there as my number one. You have to check it out!
It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year – Andy Williams (1963)
Kelly: For me, this is the ultimate feel good Christmas song. I sang it with the London Gay Big Band back in 2012 and even now, the more I hear it, the more I love it.
Merry Christmas Everyone – Shakin’ Stevens (1985)
Crystal: As a child of the 80s Shakin’ Stevens was my fantasy husband. Imagine, a double denim wedding outfit. Pure heaven.
Jingle Bells – Barbra Streisand (1967)
Kelly: Her version of this classic is something else. It sounds like she’s just snorted the biggest, fattest line of coke and said to the band, “Right, GO!”. It’s crazy. It’s fast. It’s amazing.
Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree – Mel & Kim (1987)
Crystal: This is such a happy song. It’s also a little tongue in cheek and peppered with plenty of innuendo, which makes me smile a lot.
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday – Wizzard (1973)
Kelly: This always reminds me of Christmas time as a kid. My dad pushing me around Whitehaven in my pram. Such great memories.
Driving Home For Christmas – Chris Rea (1986)
Crystal: As you know, I love our guys from the Armed forces and this song is just a special moment to think of the boys. Of course, there are other times to think of the boys, but I’ll keep that to myself [laughs].
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Dean Martin (1959)
Kelly: This makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. Sung by one of the greatest crooners of all time. Everyone tries (and fails) to get up and sing it at karaoke nights at this time of year, too.
Winter Wonderland – Various (1934)
Crystal: We put this song into our show a whole four weeks before CK Christmas and it’s a part of the big Christmas countdown for me. It says I’m allowed snowballs, mince pies and pigs in blankets with no judging (trust me, you get some odd looks in August at picnics).
Proper Crimbo – Bo Selecta (2003)
Kelly: Oh the memories this song evokes [laughs]. I was living in Elephant and Castle when it came out and I was (ahem) ‘merry’ a lot of the time. An all-star line up and Bo Selecta’s Mel B was, and still is, hilarious. It was robbed of getting to number one in the charts too!
CK’s TOTAL TURKEYS.
Band Aid 30 – Various (2014)
Crystal: I don’t think I’m grinch enough to hate any Christmas song so much as to condemn it forever, but I do wish someone would write a new charity single rather than regurgitating the same one over and over. I’ll donate, but Bob, mate, I have it on good authority that they know full fucking well it’s Christmas in Africa! There will be snow in parts, and occasionally, things grow… annnnnnnd relax, tra la la la la.
Wonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney (1979)
Kelly: I detest this song with a passion. The chimes at the start are blood curdling and everything about it rubs me up the wrong way. And I just don’t like him. If he thought that Heather Mills was the slightest bit interested in him, he’s very deluded.
• Ball: Christmas Carol is on Sunday 14th December at The Two Brewers (114 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UJ) from 5pm-2am. Entry free before 8pm, £4 after.
