By Dylan Jones
This week our selection is like a vile 17-year-old girl’s Spotify playlist. E.g. amazing! These are tracks to listen to whilst storming along City Road in nothing but gold lamé pants at seven in the morning. They’re tracks to have on in the background while you’ve got multiple dicks in your mouth. They’re tracks to play whilst shoplifting from Primark.
Generally just the soundtrack to morally reprehensible, completely feral behaviour. Let’s go!
Heidi Montag – I’ll Do It
In my opinion, this is Heidi Montag’s finest ouvre. It’s a sultrier departure from the “Look How I’m Doing” chanteuse’s usual club banger fare. Montag retains a beguiling sense of mystery throughout. And the question on everybody’s lips throughout the full 3:32 of I’ll Do It is…what will she do?! Anal? An act of sociopoliticial cyberterrorism? The laundry? WHO KNOWS! You’ll have to listen and find out!
Erika Jayne – How Many Fucks
Oh my god so Erika Jayne is our NEW ULTIMATE FAVOURITE! And the video for this is such strong work. Well done Erika, ten points to Sniffingbore. It’s like a drag queen directed it on a comedown. Who knows, maybe that’s what happened. To Erika’s credit, she’s got a great arse and she can dance, and those are possibly the two most important things in life. This might not be the most critically viable song in the world but how many fucks do we give? NONE! NOT ONE! ZERO, ZERO, ZERO, DONE! *Flips hair*
Lindsay Lohan – Fastlane
I discovered this, fittingly, whilst stumbling around Dalston Sainsburys. It sounded great in the frozen aisle. We’re still massive fans of Lindsay here at QX. In fact we want her to be QX Spokeswoman. It would be a perfect fit. She likes a drink. WE like a drink. She was in Mean Girls. We’ve watched Mean Girls. PERFECT. Anyway Fastlane is great, really philosophical, all about living life in the fast lane. SEMINAL.
