In news from the file marked “Why Bother?” the 78th series of X Factor will be airing later this year.
This time round, they’ve ‘managed’ to ‘tempt back’ former judges Nicole Shitslinger, Shaz Osbourne and Louis Walsh. Obviously Cheryl “Two Divorces & a Child Bride” Cole has seen sense and realised that if Spicegash Mel B’s not there to egg her on, she’s actually not very interesting.
Westlife ‘svengali’ and professional Irish person Louis Walsh is clearly without a shred of self-respect, considering he got booted off last year for NICK GRIMSHAW and the awful tumour on pop music’s eyelid that is Rita Ora. Embarrassing.
Nicole has got nothing better to do than flog yogz to fat ladies, so there’s no real surprise that she’s back. We’re in two minds about Sharon’s return.
On the one hand, we’re not quite sure why she’s agreed to it (well, money but still…) but she’s also a Grade A SuperBitch, so it will be a treat to see her tear people a new arsehole again. Speaking of, remember she called Susan Boyle a hairy arsehole?
That is still one of the best things that’s ever happened, quite frankly. Like, up there with the discovery of penicillin.
In news that is actually INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT: queen of the world and beyond Britney Spears is filming her new video and she’s doing it with DAVID LACHAPELLE.
Yep, he’s the dude responsible for some of her most amazing photoshoots, as well as the “Everytime” video. Quite frankly our pad is already soaked through. But if that’s not enough, she posted a few photos from the set.
There’s a ton of shirtless Latinos, there’s pipes, there’s steam and there’s Britney wearing some kind of harness. Shit.
We’ve actually had dreams like this. Better stock up on the Pill girls, we have a feeling this video’s gonna fuck us so hard that we could all end up pregnant.
