For the past four years performance artist Scottee has been presenting a talent show and beauty pageant for fat people – Hamburger Queen. They’ve eaten their way through 43 contestants, 56 celebrity judges and more hamburgers than Elvis. This year, he announced, would be the last season and as such, he wanted to go out with a bang. Over 4 heats in London and Brighton they’ve whittled down 16 contestants to a meaty 4…
Before we bid farewell to Hamburger Queen this Thursday, Scottee shares some of his most memorable moments from a show fuelled by tears, tantrums and transfat…
One night we managed to bag June Brown MBE and Dame Matthew Kelly as our celebrity judges. Of course at every juncture I said ‘Tonight Matthew I’m gonna be…’
After a few sherries June took to the microphone and enlightened us all on a healthy lifestyle of… smoking. Who knew?!
See the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kM3dRBlKILo
Dan from Brighton covered himself, his package, the stage and the front row of the audience in squirty cream. This is a magic moment for me for obvious reasons.
Then new child to the scene, Ginger Johnson made her London debut at Hamburger Queen. Her food round titled ‘Chinese Cake-away’ included everything you’d ever want from a Chinese restaurant in cake form. Holestar lost a tooth eating the dish.
Nancy Del’LOL’io turned up unannounced, halfway through the show, stopped proceedings and began to have an argument with our then DJ Sami Knight because he wasn’t paying her any attention.
Darren from Croydon did a stand up routine about his favourite coat hangers and clocks. It was as bizarre as it sounds but I’ll always remember laughing at Darren’s small clock.
I think the most memorable talent over the past 4 years came from Kayleigh from Sheffield who… well… its hard to describe. She spoke about hiding her body whilst inside a papier-mâché fertility statue. She then emerged, naked and did a tribal dance.
“Hamburger Queen has been eventful to say the least and there are so many moments I didn’t include in the round-up like the human pass the parcel, the magician who cut his finger open with razor blades or the countless items of furniture our contestants have broken with their fat ass! This Thursday our final finalists battle it out in front of Nick Grimshaw, Grace Dent, Lisa Stansfield, Jodie Harsh, Princess Julia and my Mum. Live show from Le Gateau Chocolat and in-house, fat tap troupe The Cholesterols. I promise you it will be a night to remember.”
Hamburger Queen – Grand Final is on Thursday 24th April at Bloomsbury Ballroom. http://hamburgerqueen.co.uk
