We love Elizabeth Hurley at QX. She’s a rude superficial bitch who storms around airports and is famous for wearing a dress held together with safety pins. In other words, she’s OUR KINDA GIRL.
We’re not sure if old Liz has ever been out on the London gay scene. She probably wouldn’t like it. Not enough labradors, and not every venue serves medium rare veale. But she is, undeniably, a gay icon. She’s got all the right components: insane, hot, and ridiculously dysfunctional.
One of the best things about The Madness Of Queen Liz, is her yearly Elizabeth Hurley Christmas cards! They’re *Joanne the Scammer voice* ICONIC! Basically collages of her, in underwear, against idyllic snowscapes, with wintery fauna photoshopped badly onto it. Actually, “photoshopped” is generous. She probably drunkenly does it at home on Microsoft Paint.
Anyway, here are our faves!
2012 – A purple singlet paired with two polar bears and a confused-looking seal
2013 – In a red bikini languishing amongst snow leopards. She’d shoot them in mount them above the fireplace if given half a chance!
2014 – Pensive woodland realness
2015 – A beige bikini daringly paired with a ravenous wolf pack
Our favourite Liz Hurley quotes!
“I believe that you should fuck off.” (To a reporter, whilst storming through an airport in white jeans)
“I’d kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe”
“A bit of lusting after someone does wonders for the skin!”
“Have you got $2? I left my handbag in hell.” (In Bedazzled, whilst wearing a leather catsuit)
“If it means we can go back to using decent lightbulbs (60-watt,peach-coloured, both bayonet and screw-in) and choose high-powered hairdryers and vacuum cleaners if we so wish, I’m joining Brexit for sure.” (Oh Liz)
“The brazilian rainforest is irreplaceable. But not all deforestation is bad! We’re all saving 50% on a brazilian wax at Completely Bare in New York City!” (In a Superbowl halftime ad, whilst wearing a bathrobe)
“I’ve always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I’m a little surprised that British Intelligence has never approached me.”
