You know them, you’ve seen them and you have definitely partied with them. James Egan talks to…The Spanish LGBT Community in London
LA PEQUEÑA,
“You never ask a lady her age”
Part-time lesbian, full-time bitch
What was it like growing up gay in Spain?
As a kid, before I ever hit puberty, I always knew I was “different”. While every kid thinks they are different for many reasons. I knew at a very early age that I had to be guarded about who I was because of people’s prejudices. So I pretended to be just like every other kid but it was difficult. My mum owned a hairdresser and I was really happy to help her washing customers’ hair or watching her work while my brothers were playing football. I was definitely different, I didn’t know why until later on. Spanish society was slowly changing after a very long dictatorship, but you found a lot of homophobic people and discrimination everywhere. Obviously this impacted my life. I was attending a Catholic private school and that didn’t help, as I used to hear very conservative comments and horrible things about homosexuality. I didn’t want to end my days in Hell (I’m quite the opposite now). When I was a teenager I was always surrounded by girlfriends and everybody knew I was different, I knew too but I wasn’t clear why. I had some bad episodes with guys in the school; some fights because they were calling me gay etc. Unfortunately most of us have experienced things like that.
My childhood was happy and I have amazing memories, I am very lucky because my family have always supported me I was living a very happy life but I had the feeling that I was missing something, and bit by bit I realised my situation as my sexual awakening happened. I had some experiences with girls but I was sexually interested in guys, when I was 17 I had my first gay experience but I felt miserable and dirty. I was just totally confused and decided to live a different life, hiding my homosexuality until my early twenties, when I ended my university studies in Biochemistry and moved to Madrid. I started going out in gay clubs and everything changed for me. I knew I was gay and didn’t pretend to be anything else. No matter what the world thought, I knew who I was and I began my real life.
What made you decide to come to London? Did you come straight here from Spain?
I moved here in 2009; Spain was experiencing a really bad crisis and I came here try to find a better future, professionally. London was my first and only option. I was fascinated by the city, the Londoners …I still am.
How do you feel the gay community in London compares to the gay scene back home?
I am in love with the gay scene in both countries for different and common reasons. I think the London gay scene is really creative, colourful and amazingly fun. Obviously the differences between Spaniards and Londoners are there. British people have always been considered reserved, serious, quiet and with a peculiar sense of humour. However, the Latin character is in the other way round: we are open, talkative and naughty. But I have known enough British people to know none of them actually match with the above-mentioned characteristics. I think that gives uniqueness to both scenes and I wouldn’t change it. I love variety.
What do you think the Spanish LGBT community bring to the London scene?
Fun, sex and happiness! I’m not saying those things aren’t here already, but we bring more. If you put all three of those things together, you get La Pequeña
Do you feel attitudes have developed progressively towards gay people in Spain when you visit?
I will give you some reasons why Spain is a fantastic example and why it makes me feel proud of be Spanish: Spain made gay marriage legal ten years ago in 2005. At that time, some states in the US had only just struck down bans against homosexual intercourse and conduct. Spain has been called the least homophobic country, with only 6 percent surveyed saying homosexuality was “morally unacceptable”. Madrid and Barcelona are often rated in lists of the best travel destinations for LGBT people. Same-sex couples in Spain have been able to adopt a child together for ten years, while countries like Germany still struggle with the issue. A child born by in-vitro fertilization in Spain can be recognized as the child of the biological mother’s same-sex partner. If you think of the situation in Spain 30 years ago, I think this is incredibly impressive. It’s why Spain is considered the most ‘gay-friendly’ country in the entire world.
Finally, could you ever imagine going back to live in Spain? If not, what is it about London’s gay scene and community that makes you want to stay?
Yes, I can. Living here has been the most amazing experience of my life but I’m always thinking about going back, I have my family and loads of friends there, and don’t forget the food and the weather! But I will miss the people you can find in London; interesting people from all nationalities, cultures and religions, which enriches your life a lot. I will miss fashion in the street, but I won’t miss the Central line, the weather or the food!
Borja Peña, 38, DJ
I grew up in Madrid, in a very conservative side of town, attending Catholic school. I had no gay references or relatives apart from the priests in my school, but I always knew I was different. I think when I watched “La Ley del Deseo” by Pedro Almodovar everything clicked in and I realised there was another world out there. Sadly I didn’t have the courage to come out as gay in Madrid, living on a diet of underwear catalogues, male nude art magazines and straight German soft erotica movies to get my fix of cock. I really became a full-power homo in London. I remember stealing my first QX magazine from the chef of a pub I was working at and being all excited at the escort section. These days Madrid is gayer than ever, so I’m sure that things would have been way easier now.
I was actually kicked out by my parents with a one-way ticket to London and £100 to my name when I was 20 years old. They decided to send me here as their last resort to whip me into shape and I have never looked back, so I guess I didn’t choose London, it chose me! Best thing that ever happened, as years down the line I’m happier, less angry, I love my parents and I’m a happy homosexual. Thank you London!
In Madrid, you meet everybody in very little time. People are warmer, friendlier, nosier… everybody will know who you are, your business, who you had sex with even before you do. There are pros and cons of course… there is a sense of community; people get together for events and parties are bigger, as everybody regardless of their body shape / sense of style or age group likes to attend…it feels like you are part of something bigger.
I’m not an expert as I’m not in Madrid much, but that is what comes to mind. London is more segregated; there are people that have never ventured out of East London and others that just go to the Hoist etc. You find your tribe and you stick with them… there are so many to choose from! I still haven’t found mine after all these years. I think you can be a bit more anonymous here and do your own thing and that works for me.
What does the Spanish gay community bring to the scene?
We bring sexiness, strong looks, parties, people that don’t know when to stop, people that work for Zara and goddesses like La Pequeña. Spanish people know how to have a good time; look around and you can see how many Spanish parties happen here or ones that have been inspired by Spanish events with the same formula. I used to work at an afterhours party when I moved to London and I always said to my friends “Have a look around after midday and there are only two things in the dance floor; Spanish people and freaks.” Spaniards want good value for money, so they tend to close every party or house party. We are very difficult to get rid of if there is fun to be had!
Miguelanie C, 27, Spice Boy
What was it like growing up gay in Spain?
It wasn’t an issue for me as I have quite a lot of gay family members, and they were very accepting. They were actually the ones who got me out of the closet. I found Spain one of the most gay friendly countries in Europe. At school I felt more accepted after I said I was gay than before.
What made you decide to come to London? Did you come straight here from Spain?
I moved to London as a first step before moving to New York. I had a job and a place to live in New York, but first I wanted to try living in a foreign city, before making the big step all the way to America. Even though I had my little group of straight friends from school, I had never quite found my place in Spain and I felt like I never fitted in. I was always “the freak” for my music taste, way of thinking or dressing. So I basically escaped from a very boring life in a place that I felt didn’t belong to me.
How do you feel the gay community in London compares to the gay scene back home?
I actually feel the gay community in Spain is quite big and strong, much stronger than here, but not quite so open like the gay community in the UK. I find the UK gay scene much more friendly and easy to approach.
Do you feel attitudes have developed progressively towards gay people in Spain when you visit?
I think Spain continues to be a very accepting country for LGBT people. After all, we were the first country in Europe to legalise gay marriage and we still hold the biggest Gay Pride in Europe.
And finally, could you ever imagine going back to live in Spain? If not, what is it about London’s gay scene and community that makes you want to stay?
I thought about going back last summer but the job situation doesn’t really help, plus I’m not the biggest fan of the heat. I love London too much to just give it away for a bit of sun. Almost everything I know nowadays is thanks to this fantastic city and the people I met on the way. I feel London still has so much to offer me, even though people are obsessed with telling you how horrible this city is. I trust this city that has given me everything that I have today, so I will always give it another chance.
Chema Diaz, 25, Creative Artist
What was it like growing up gay in Spain?
I grew up on an island in Northern Spain with a 10k population, where “gay” was not even a thing. Since I was a kid I’d been the weird one: I had a long afro, my clothes were super fancy and I was doing contemporary dance (ticking all the boxes). Being a strongly religious country, with a quite recent dictatorship, homosexuality was a taboo and something to be ashamed of. Thank God, I grew up in the era of the Internet, where a hook-up was a click away. Thus I was able to discover and experiment my sexuality via URL, and then IRL.
What made you decide to come to London? Did you come straight here from Spain?
I came here with a grant I got from the Spanish Government after graduating from uni. It was the perfect excuse to spend my government’s money in the craziest summer of my life. Where better to improve my English than in the smoking area of the Joiners Arms? I came here straight from Spain, but before moving to London, I moved from my town to Madrid, where I could freely enjoy a gay community, gay friends and a lot of same-sex bump’n’grind.
How do you feel the gay community in London compares to the gay scene back home?
London’s community is much more inclusive. Madrid’s one is still quite close-minded, racist and transphobic, in my opinion. I haven’t lived there for the last four years, but I still get that feeling when I go there on holiday or for DJing. I would say it is quite segregated, being very difficult to make friends or socialise outside of your regular clique, but this can be said of Spanish society as a whole though.
What do you think the Spanish LGBT community bring to the London scene?
Sassiness, strong accents and hairy chests. Oh, and 95% of Zara employees.
And finally, could you ever imagine going back to live in Spain? If not, what is it about London’s gay scene and community that makes you want to stay?
I can’t imagine that at the moment. I’ve never felt as free and safe in my life as I feel in London. The main difference for me between London and Spain is that here individuality is a characteristic that is celebrated, whilst in Spain originality and individuality is often used against you. People do not find the courage to step out of the path and be themselves easily, which can make them very unhappy.
Ego Rodriguez, 39, Illustrator
What was it like growing up gay in Spain?
My parents are open-minded people and I received a fair education. Freedom to express myself and make my choices, so on that side it was quite supportive. I grew up being pointed at, with people making fun of me and the giving me the usual abuse you come to expect. I never felt like fitting in and I did develop an antipathy towards society in general. I used this to be more creative and wear even more provocative outfits.
What made you decide to come to London? Did you come straight here from Spain?
It was a chance opportunity, motivated by the reasons mentioned before.
I never thought about myself wanting to settle where I wasn’t happy. When someone I met brought up London as an option, I went for it. I moved out to Madrid from the north (Asturias) and then moved to London.
How do you feel the gay community in London compares to the gay scene back home?
I find the gay scene quite limited and constrained by norm [in Spain]. That’s my experience in US and Europe. London is the only place where I’d seen more openness and mixed places, more variety and choices. I am not the biggest fan of clubs, bars, social temples that only accept one type.
Do you feel attitudes have developed progressively towards gay people in Spain when you visit?
An advance when it comes to laws and protection. Younger generations are more verbal and transparent about it. Still, the Spanish mentality towards the LGBT is poor and disrespectful. Even within the more progressive circles, there is liberal homophobia. You can be gay but nobody wants to see it. You need to follow the heteronormative example. Being flamboyant or feminine is not accepted. Sometimes I question whether some of the advances are happening so that people don’t have to talk about it.
And finally, could you ever imagine going back to live in Spain? If not, what is it about London’s gay scene and community that makes you want to stay?
I thought a couple of times about moving to Barcelona. But I can’t see myself there any time soon. London offers variety and movement. In the last 20 years I have seen so many changes and places come and go. Sometimes this is a sad event. But I think that renovation and novelty makes the London scene what it is; a melting pot not that easy to find in other places.
