Cliff Joannou’s last experience of going away with the GutterSlut crew left resident vocalist Crystal MC in a Berlin hospital with a punctured lung (it was a very wild night of dancing) and ended with Per QX missing his flight due to an(other) unexpected extended session at Panorama Bar in Berghain. So, it’s with a little trepidation he accepted this latest invite – a weekend at Bestival!
Ten years in and Rob da Bank-curated Bestival has firmly established itself as the worthy closing event to the UK’s series of summer festivals. Taking place on the idyllic Isle of Wight, it’s far more accessible and easier to navigate around than the monster that is Glastonbury, yet, incredibly, no less spectacular.
I arrive on a soggy Friday night, yes a day late, and I have my tent graciously set-up by GutterSlut promoters Per QX and Nic Fischer. (Thank the Goddess these boys came prepared!) I’m based in the artist area, and I am camping it up. Yes, we are camping… in a friggin’ tent. (FYI ‘camping’: pun not intended, but incredibly relevant as I’m just metres away from cabaret star Scottee, Sink The Pink, and their posse of trannies, drags and hot gogos.) With packets of wet wipes at the ready, torches, pillows, duvets and more, this bitch is ready for his first outdoor living experience. Thankfully, this is camping ‘The Ritz’-stylee, with hot showers and deluxe toilet facilities on hand. I never said I was that butch.
I’m here on the invite of Per QX and Nic Fischer, joining D’Johnny, vocalist Crystal MC and their new favourite femme duo, the spunky north Londoners Red ‘N’ Pink. I missed the GutterSlut boys opening night Thursday set, so there’s catching up to be done! We head on out into the nightlife with our tour guides Per and Nic giving us a whirlwind trip around the Bestival site. Per’s fashioned himself a rain mac out of a bin bag. Exquisite styling.
The production is insane: Bollywood inspired club set-ups; a vast forest of obscure delights; an entire nightclub has been recreated in a tree; and much, much more. There’s even a giant ship, the HMS Bestival, which has been recreated in one corner of the site, lording over it all as the king of all DJ stages. Earlier in the day Jodie Harsh, Kris Di Angelis and Severino spin for Room Service there. This muthafukking stage redefines the term ‘DJ decks’.
Across the park, things get more bonkers as Gideon of Glasto’s Block 9 returns with Maceo’s Crew Bar, which features DJ sets by the likes of Horse Meat Disco. And in the middle of it all is the Grand Palace of Entertainment. A seemingly innocuous set-up, that behind the theatrical frontage where trannies, gogos and drag stars gyrate and entice passers-by in is a rockin’ club that Scottee and co. and Sink The Pink take over every night, before GutterSlut closes the weekend on Sunday with a monster night of their trademark underground sounds.
The sun is out for the rest of the weekend. Saturday is the fancy dress day. This year, it’s a navy theme and Per has been kitted out by Pale Blue Door’s Tony Hornecker, who dresses him in an outfit direct from the Royal Opera House. Tequila, vodka, rum and more are consumed and there’s even a special appearance by a few wigs as the party continues. Per takes us over to the Hidden Disco where Cats and Dogs spin. We’re forever grateful to Per and Nic for introducing us to this deck genius.
The DJ line-up over the weekend is immense. Those in the know will choke at the sheer quality of music on the bill. From the likes of Disclosure and Rudimental, we also take in sets by Richie Hawtin, Seth Troxler, Jesse Rose and Julio Bashmore. On Saturday night, we get down with Snoop Dog, while on Sunday it’s Elton John who shuts the main stage down with a truly regal show that demonstrates why this man retains the crown as one of music’s ruling kings.
Lest we forget another personal festival highlight, experiencing Tarek Halaby, whose stirring club aerobics/new age master class has the Big Top jumping before Swedish duo The Knife take the stage. [And breathe…!]
Then it’s all over to the Grand Palace again where Per joins D’Johnny and Nic for our mad weekend’s closing session. Cue the massively sexy beats that we’ve come to know and love from the boys that redefined gay clubbing over in East London, and opened the doors to many of the nights that populate the area today.
The lunacy that has become synonymous with GutterSlut is unrivalled. Crystal MC keeps the crowd firmly shaking their butts as the boys rotate on the decks, delivering smash and smash. The stage overflows with trannies and the drag characters keep on coming. This is GutterSlut as they do best: wild, chaotic and utterly insane. And this is why these boys are still here, rocking you out of one of the best festival experiences I’ve ever been blessed to share.
Cheers to GutterSlut for another awesome weekend away. There are no broken bones or lost DJs this time around, but we have one helluva load of cherished memories that we have them to thank for!
When’s the next trip?
• GutterSlut returns to East Bloc (217 City Road, London, EC1V 1JN) on Saturday 28th September, 11pm-6am.
