Club News

Posted on October 19, 2016

Thursday 20th October: Fucking Good Time

Fucking Good Time is Klub’s brand SPANKING new Thursday night party. Emphasis on the SPANKING! It’s all about hot boys, rocketfuel shots, bangin’ tunes and unapologetic bitches! Madonna tried to come but she’s not relevant anymore. They just about would let Cara Delevignge in. JUST. It’s about serving LOOKS and just generally being fierce. They’ve got gogo boys, strippers, all sorts! Get down there and find out for yourselves.

Klub, 30 Lisle Street, WC2H 7BA. 11pm – 3am. £3 before midnight, £5 after. 


Friday 21st October: Beefmince

It’s Vauxhall’s special monthly Beefmince night! Forget lasagne or Bolognese, THIS is where the proper mince is! It’ll be mince pies soon because, according to Littlewoods and Myleene Klass’ PA, Christmas is almost upon us! Beefmince comes to the RVT every third Friday of the month and it’s all about beefy, meaty men! Myleene Klass isn’t invited, no matter WHAT mirrory-shiney dress she’s paired with Your Feet Look Gorgeous heels. No we’re kidding, Beefmince is open to all, but its general vibe is geared towards hairy husky hunks and their admirers. And they’ve got resident DJs Cactushead and Silverhook spinning some well-hung meaty tunes!

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 10pm – 4am. £5 before 11pm, £7 after.  


Friday 21st October: Night of a 1000 Beyoncés

Jesus Christ. What a thought! That’d keep Jay Z busy wouldn’t it! Imagine if there were 1000 Beyoncés in Haggerston. You couldn’t swing a Tesco carrier bag without knocking one over. In fact, that Tesco would probably be staffed by them. “BEYONCÉ, CLEANUP IN AISLE 3!” Cue the first knells of Crazy In Love. Sorry, we love talking about that Tesco. Basically this night at the Glory is gonna be ALL ABOUT BEYONCÉ, with Beyoncé performances, Beyoncé music and Beyoncé musics. Amaze! Who Run The World (John Sizzle). Single Ladies (Put A Man To Pet On It).

The Glory, 281 Kingsland Road, E2 8AS. Doors 5pm, shows 9pm, close 3aam. Free before 9pm, £5 after. 


Saturday 22nd October: XXL

Our favourite big beary boys are BACK this week with another rip-roaring installment of super-duper club night XXL! It’s one of the biggest, high-octane club nights in the city, gay or straight! It’s even more high-octane than a night in Lindsay Lohan’s living room (or so we’ve heard, we wouldn’t know). Anyway it’s the place to be if you like big hairy bears, or if you ARE a big hairy bear. It’s got two MASSIVE dancefloors. And we’re talking huge, like, cavernous, like, the size of the Mines Of Moria. Oh and they’ve also got a nice room where you can sit on sofas and have a rest too. How lovely.

Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, South Bank, SE1 9UF, 10pm – 7am. £10 members, £15 guests. 


Saturday 22nd October: TUSK

Now, we’re just going to lead with this and get it out of the way – Chris Camplin is DJing at Tusk, and we always go on about how fucking hot he is. So. He’s fucking hot. There. Now we can get on with talking about the night. Tusk is a monthly installment at hub of queer hedonism Dalston Superstore. It’s a joint venture from aforementioned Camplin, as well as Ant C and James Baille. They’ve also got super-duper punk-funk purveyors The Men Who Fell To Earth doing a special DJ set too! Major!

Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 9pm – 3am. Free before 10pm, £5 after. 


Sunday 23rd October: Beyond

It’s the Sunday night party to END ALL SUNDAY NIGHT PARTIES. Well, hopefully not actually, that sounds quite ominous doesn’t it. What we mean is, Beyond is MAYJOR. With a Y! Since conquering London, Beyond has evolved into a global brand, with nights in Miami, New York and Tel Aviv. That’s more nights in hotels than Kim Kardashian’s pants! This week they’re back at Fire in old London town, with Chrissy Darling hosting. Chrissy Darling looks like Leigh Bowery crossed with Iggle Piggle. Amazeballs.

Fire, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1RT. 4am – midday. £13 concession/flyer before 7am. £16 OTD


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