savage pic

Club News

Posted on August 19, 2015

Sat 29th Aug: Savage

Right, where do we start with Savage? Basically it’s the height of too-muchery. There’s a stripper pole that goes down through three floors. There’s a pink car. There’s a beach section with real sand and palm trees. The last time we were there Raven Mandella death-dropped onto the dancefloor, stood up, unfurled a fan bigger than her and said “Iya love.”

Metropolis Strip Club, 235 Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9NN. 11pm – 5am. £5 entry. 


Sat 29th Aug: Straight Nasty

Supernanny Jo Frost is dusting off her best shoulder-padded jacket. Javine is in front of her wavy mirror trying on various berets. Alexandra Burke’s taken a night off from handing out Heaven wristbands. Why? Because it’s another Straight Nasty at VFD! They’re bringing you POP! They’re bringing you POOFS! They’re bringing you PALINDROMES! POP. With resident DJ’s Trinny & $u$annah, Shy Charles and Je M’Appelle Rochelle.

VFD, 66 Stoke Newington Road, N16 7XB. 10pm – 3am. £3 before 11pm, £5 after. 


Sat 29th Aug:R&She Bank Holiday Booty Shaker! 

It’s the totes amaze R&She this week, by Neil Prince, David Oh and QBoy! Their playlist includes Tinashe, Ciara, Ashanti and Kelly Rowland. We love Tinashe. She works hard for her money doesn’t she. Also we love Kelly Rowland. Remember when she was a judge on the X Factor and always looked like she was about to vomit skittles? Anyway R&She is the HOTTEST HOMO HIP-HOP NIGHT IN LONDON. Be there, or be Michelle. Poor Michelle…

Tipsy, 20 Stoke Newington Road, N16 7XN. 9pm – 4:30am. Free before 10pm, £6 after. 


Sat 29th Aug: Wrong

Wrong is Vauxhall’s craziest, busiest after-hours party. And that, as we all know, is SAYING something. There’s uplifting house. There’s twelve hours of pelvis-gyrating debauchery. There’s more hot men than you can shake a glowstick at. Get a vodka Red Bull, get stuck in, and in the morning, try to get a grip.

Union, 66 Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP. 1am – 1pm. £8 before 6am concessions, otherwise £10.


Sat 29th Aug: Beefy Tea

Those big boys have branched out and started another steamy party; Beefy Tea! It’s an urban bear tea dance. Think floral crockery and hairy arses. Chamomile and Carlsberg. Jammie Dodgers and jockstraps. This week it’s a beefy bank holiday special, with BRÜT hosting the main room with DJ’s Ben Jamin, Paul Coals and Louis Lennon in attendance. And as if that weren’t beefy enough, the Meat boys are gonna be there too, hosting room three! Juicy!

The Egg, 200 York Way, N7 9AX. 2pm-10pm. Tickets £10, £5 for members, £8 for guests.  


Sat 29th Aug: Lazertitz 

Pew pew pew! “Every titz has a lazer lining” according to Book of Lazer, Verse Titz, Paragraph Lazer. It’s lasers! It’s tits! It’s LAZERTITZ AT D-SWIZZLE! This is as good a reason as any to channel your fave camp sci-fi characters for the evening. Like Lee-Loo from Fifth Element with her nice tits, or maybe that crazy little monster from the cantina in Star Wars that looked OFF its tits. Gorgeous celesbian DJ Hannah Holland will be DJing, along with Bica, Cathal and special guests.

Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 9pm – 3am. Free before 10pm, £6 after.


Sat 29th Aug: XXL

Hey, you! You with the checkered shirt, ass-hugging jeans and Timberland boots! Yes! Do YOU like cavernous dance floors, camp Kylie remixes and hundreds of hot hairy men? Well XXL, the popular London gay club night, is definitely for you! The amazing Mr Wayne G will be sending bangin’ beats across one of the city’s most well-known venues with acres of room for dancing, kissing, and boozing. Unmissable!

Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 7UF. 10pm – 7am. £15, £8 for members.


Sat 29th Aug: East Bloc Bank Holiday Terrace Party

Amidst horrified tourists and chicken shops with girls called Tabitha passed out at tables, is The Magic Roundabout! It’s a pop-up bar in the middle of Old Street Roundabout, and East Bloc are having their Bank Holiday party there (where else!). It’s gonna be a right knees-up. Drunk boys in ribless tees and brothel creepers. Jeffrey Hinton and Ursula Snakes DJing. Princess Julia trying to light a fag whilst being buffeted by gale-force winds and bits of lettuce. Sensational!

The Magic Roundabout, Old Street Roundabout, EC1Y 1BE. 3pm – 6am. £5 entry.


Sun 30th Aug: Chapter 10 Summer Rave

Have you not heard of the Chapter 10 Summer Rave? Oh, you must not be cool enough. That’s fine, don’t worry. Just go back to watching Great British Bakeoff, ordering forgettable shirts on ASOS and sending heart emojis to your basic boyfriend who works in Lush. For those of us who ARE cool enough, Chapter 10 is the raving, thumping lovechild of Dan Beaumont and Honey Soundsystem, and it’s not to be missed.

Bloc, Unit 3, Autumn Yard, E3 2TT. 11pm-6am. Tickets £9.


Sun 30th Aug: BRÜT

It’s a bank holiday Brut bash! The brutish bears and edibly hunky men will be out in force at the impressive Steel Yard down by the Thames! Where once big butch boys were doing things like hoisting steel girders and welding bits of metal to other bits of metal, now big butch men will be drinking vodka and coke and snogging each other’s faces off. Just as god intended it! Scene DJ legends Tom Stephan, Ben Jamin and Louis Lennon will all be in attendance, as well as special guest Dan Slater. Don’t miss monstrously fun new monthly party. It’s a sight to behold. And that’s coming from us, of all people!

The Steel Yard, 13 – 16 All Hallows Lane, EC4R 3UL. 10pm – 6am. Tickets £15.


Sun 31st Aug: RVT Sports Day

Have you ever wondered what a gay sports day would be like? Well wonder no longer, because there’s actually one happening, put on by the RVT to raise money for GMFA. Events include the drag relay, the handbag throw and the 50m mince. Like, this is your life now. Phrases like “handbag throw” are commonplace. JUST ANOTHER WEEKEND. So pull on your heels and get on with it kids.

Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, SE11 5HL. 2pm – 6pm.  


All Weekend: Orange Bank Holiday

Orange is hitting it hard this bank holiday weekend with three massive events; First up on Saturday it’s Safado at 28 New Kent Road, the hottest gay Brazilian party brand complete with the hottest gay Brazilian boys. Then it’s a heady rush on to House of Orange, THE ULTIMATE Bank Holiday party hedonism at the glittering Café de Paris. If you’ve got any enzymes left by the end of that, strut over to Beyond for their after, after, AFTER party, which is called Big Top. I don’t think any of us have said no to a big top have we? As it’s Orange, order an orange juice at the bar and enjoy a freshly-squeezed spurt of fun (not from concentrate).

Info, times and tickets available at  


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