Club News

Posted on February 22, 2017

Friday 24th February: A:M

Kellyanne Conway would fucking hate A:M. Can you imagine. Standing awkwardly in an awful flannel Ralph Lauren dress with loads of gays gyrating arounf her. WOOO C’MAN KELLYANNE, YAAAS KWEEN! She’d hate it. And anything she hates, we love! We’re very political like that. A:M is the clubbing experience that’s taken Vauxhall by storm, notorious for deep dirty beats and mad, no-holds-barred insanity. Oh and it goes on for TWELVE HOURS. Keep stocked up on Red Bulls and don’t tell your mum.

Fire, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1SP. 11pm – 11am. Adv tickets £4 before 1am, £8 after. £13 OTD.

 

Friday 24th February: Push The Button

Push The Button is a poptastic extravaganza that touches down once a month at the inimitable, indestructible, indefatigable RVT! Yes! They’ve got all sort of choons for your listening pleasure, from Sophie Ellis-Bextor to Sinitta. And we’ve heard rumours that the iconic name badges are making a comeback! Get there early to snag the one you want – we want the Mutya Buena one. Remember Song 4 Mutya feat. Groove Armada? That was, is, and always will be, an absolute banger.

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 9pm – 3am. £8.

 

Friday 24th February: Blocheads

The urban dictionary definition of a “blochead” is “Russell Lissack’s hairstyle from the band Bloc Party”. That’s not OUR definition of a blochead, even though Bloc Party WAS an awesome band. No, a blochead is someone who goes to BLOCHEADS every Friday at East Bloc! A gorgeously debauched sweat basement of sexy boys and sonorous delights, it’s THE (or at least, one of the) East London clubbing desination(s)! What an accolade. They’ve always got gorgey drinks and the best scene DJs on rotation, plus a table with red plasma in it. Always fun.

East Bloc, 217 City Road, EC1V 1JN. 11pm – 6am. £5 before 1am, £10 after.

 

Friday 24th February: BUTCH PLEASE!

The riotous riot grrl night returns to the Glory with an inclusive LGBTQI Valentine’s spesh sesh! All genders and sensibilities welcome. If you identify as a werewolf, that’s cool too! So dress up in your finery and saunter on down. The Glory’s looking lovely at the moment, all decked out for Valentine’s. Hanging paper hearts, fairy lights, plastic foliage, the works. It’s all very ambient and ethereal. A bit like Florence Welch taking a bath.

The Glory, 281 Kingsland Road, E2 8AS. 9pm – 3am. Free before 10pm, £5 after.

 

Saturday 25th FebruaryXXL Jocks

Get yer jocks out fer the lads! It’s jockstrap night at XXL! We love a jockstrap, they’re well hot. You’ve gotta have the arse to pull it off though. Thick and juicy. Like, Chris Pratt would look hot in a jockstrap. Or….Jason Statham? He’d look good in one. Not a nice expensive one though, he’d get it all greasy. But yeah, wear a jockstrap to XXL on Saturday! They’ve also got super duper DJ Pagano on the decks, spinning jocky beats for your delectation.

Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF. 10pm – 7am. £10 members, £15 guests.

 

Saturday 25th February: Tusk

Banging, beguiling and BUMPTIOUS. Three words beginning with B that describe Tusk very well! It’s a monthly meeting of minds from some of East London’s hottest partystarters, including Chris Camplin (who, as we’ve said before, we’ve got a crush on), Ant C and James Bailie. They’re called in some “serious house artillery” from super DJ Voitek, as well as Nico De Ceglia. Names, names, names! Lights! Models! Guestlist! Just do your best darling.

Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 9pm – 4am. Free before 10pm, £7 after.

 

Saturday 25th February: Paunchy

Paunchy! That’s quite a nice pleasing word to say isn’t it. “Paunchy”. Apparently, it’s London’s filthiest cruise club for chunkier guys and bears! That’s what we love about London, there’s something for everyone! It’s at The Bloc in Camden, which has got clandestine cruisey vibes, perfect for a hefty gentleman on the hunt! But it’s not a posey night. The emphasis is on attitude-free vibes! So get down there, have some nice conversation, and have it off!

Bloc Bar, 18 Kentish Town Road, NW1 9NX. 9pm – 3am. £3 before 10:30pm, £8 after.

 

Sunday 26th February: Beyond

To infinity…and BEYOND! Or at least, to Vauxhall and Beyond! All that time teleological researchers and astrophysicists have spent looking for “the beyond”, if only they’d known it was on the Victoria line just past Stockwell! Beyond is a hedonistic Sunday morning party that hits London every week in a glitter-spattered glissade of colour and light. So…glowsticks at the ready and neon vests at the ready too! It’s going to be “very that”. It’s hosted by Chrissy Darling, who looks like one of the aliens from War of The Worlds, crossed with a Teletubby.

Fire, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1SP. 4am – midday. Adv tickets £11, £16 OTD.

 

Sunday 26th February: Horse Meat Disco feat. Lady Bunny

Oh em gee, New York drag legend Lady Bunny is coming to do a special guest DJ set at legendary Sunday party Horse Meat Disco! It’s the perfect melding of minds. Horse Meat’s joyfully trashy vibes suit Lady Bunny down to a tee! Horse Meat is always a right laugh – friendly vibes and awesome beats. There’s a reckless abandon to it all that’s not quite matched by anywhere else. It’s one of those rare places where we can say…we’ve NEVER had a bad night there. QX Magazine approves this message!

Eagle London, 349 Kennington Lane, SE11 5QY. 8pm – 3am. £6 before 10pm, £8 after.

 

Sunday 26th February: Love Station

Shove some money in your pocket and shimmy on down to the LOVE STATION! “Shimmy”, god, no-one’s said that since 1985. Actually Sophie Ellis-Bextor said it at Sink The Pink a couple of years ago. “Come on guys, shimmy with me!” It was hilarious. Love Station is London’s newest Sunday night party! Because, as we’ve said before, Sundays are the new Saturdays, Saturdays are the new Fridays, and Fridays are the new…Tuesdays? No. Whatever. Love Station’s at a brand new venue too, the Prince Of Wales in eclectic South London! How exciting! There’ll be house, garage and hip-hop from superduper DJs Wayne G, Bobby Blanco and Afrochick. Get into it!

Prince Of Wales, 467 – 469 Brixton Road, SW9 8HH. 10pm – 6am. £8 adv tickets.

 

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