Wig Brother

Have you been hooked on the current series of Celebrity Big Brother as much as we have? I mean, it’s total car crash telly but addictive viewing. We were having a natter about it in QX Towers and started pondering who from the scene we’d love to see in a special drag version of the show? What mix of cabaret queens would make it compelling viewing? So, ahead of G-A-Y’s Big Brother spesh this weekend featuring its very own customers fighting for a £1000 prize, and in the throes of the most controversial CBB ever, Jason Reid compiled his list of dream drag housemates….

by Jason Reid

 


Dusty O 

If you’re after opinions then you can’t go wrong with our first housemate. She will definitely keep the others in line, too! And with a career as long as Katie Hopkins honk, Dusty has plenty of showbiz tales to share.

 

Baga Chipz

Full of energy and vitality, I’d just love to see if Baga sustains that all day long. Not one to shun the spotlight either, she’d be on full entertaining mode most of the time and would be great to watch.

 

Son Of a Tutu

I know Tutu would be climbing the walls after a few days but she’s a HUGE Big Brother fan so she’s getting flung in. She’d bring some straight-talking and open discussions to the house but would be irked easily by others. She’s an expert in tongue-biting and diplomacy which could come in very handy.

 

Holestar

Sassy, brassy, ballsy, whatever way you want to describe her, Holestar would be a true dream housemate. People would probably call her the UK’s Michelle Visage. However, I reckon she’d be way more vocal.

 

Charlie Hides

The American of the house! Ironic really that this American has more talent in his little finger than fellow American Cami-Li, isn’t it? Charlie would be on hand to cheer up the house with a filthy gag or celeb impersonation when things get boring.

 

Topsie Redfern

Warmth and happiness exude from Topsie like narcissism and egocentricity exude from Perez Hilton. She would bring harmony to conflict and befriend everyone, but would we finally find out what pushes her buttons?

 

Miss Cairo

I can just see her tottering around the living room in killer heels and an itty-bitty bikini at 3am and LOVING her life. She’d brighten up the house no end but would probably grate on some of the older housemates because she’s talented, young and pretty. But as I always say honey, ‘Smile and wave.’

 

Mary Mac

For some reason I imagine Mary to be the mum of the house. Not in an overbearing Nadia kind of way but in a scurrying around tidying up and throwing sausages in a frying pan kinda way. She’d be very diplomatic would, our Mary.

 

Maisie Trollette

Maisie would take no shit from the drag whippersnappers. She has a wickedly dry sense of humour and would provide some quality comedy moments. And she could re-school everyone in their drag history.

 

Glendora

“Ereeeeeeeeeeeeee GIRL, innit cod camp!!” Glendora would be a total scream. Can you just imagine her and Baga in the smoking area? We’d need subtitles. I’d be glued to her every move and every costume change.

 

• G-A-Y Big Brother is at Heaven (Villiers Street, WC2N 6NG) on Friday 30th and Saturday 31st January. Friday: FREE entry wrist bands available at G-A-Y Bar. Saturday: £2 entry wrist bands available at G-A-Y Bar. 

DRAG QUEENS NOT INCLUDED!

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