13/01/11: Oh, my bittersweet David Hoyle! My personal Jesus. The saviour to a gay scene where mediocrity sometimes screams louder on a rancid karaoke machine than true bleeding-edge talent with an acerbic mind and even the tiniest dose of intellectualism. How many poor imitations of Kylie can we bear? How many bad romances with rip-off Lady Gaga clones do we have to suffer? None! Not at the forever off-beat RVT, the refuge of the disco disenchanted, where cutting cabaret and vodka swigging go hand-in-hand, cock-in-arse.
The torch-bearer for the alternatively minded and artistically inclined, Mr Hoyle delivers deft blows to the staid status quo and the absurdly bourgeoisie, striking at those who seek to suppress individuality and liberal attitudes via the day-to-day meanderings of life: from paying your council tax to conforming to gender stereotypes.
As if Hoyle’s astute observations weren’t enough, last week electro-outfit Atomizer joined him on stage, providing aural pleasures, before guest performer Chrisalys astounded us with a show that took oral fixations to a whole different level!
Indeed, the revolution will not be televised. It’s every Thursday at the RVT until 10th February!
But why take it from me? Here are some nuggets from the man himself, as expressed at last week’s show…
To the smartly dressed, well-spoken, privately educated cutie in the crowd (pictured bottom left): “When you look like you do, you can be cruel, you can be nasty, everyone will be nice to you. I’ll leave that with you!”
To the same boy (above): “You look like you come from a family that might have supplied you with a moist toilet wipe. You’re welcome to sit on my face any time. I like the taste of aloe vera.”
“I could be a teacher at a faith school teaching children to be cunts, but I’m not. I’m here with you beautiful people.”
“When you are conventionally unattractive you are usually left wing or a communist.”
“Are you a taker, a grasper, or someone who thinks, ‘if I’m making you happy it’s making me a little bit happy?’”
“Gender is an illusion. A control mechanism to make us all schizophrenic.”
“This is what disgusts me about the gay scene. You have to look feminine to be penetrated. You don’t. You can do it with a few fingers. A courgette. Or a carrot from Asda.”
“Those of you who cant provide your own entertainment, throw your onyx lighters into your television. It’s been depressing you since the early 70s. EastEnders is clinical depression.”
The RVT, 372 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, SE11 5HY. Every Thursday, until 10th February.
Words by Cliff Joannou
Photos by Mike Kear
