Friday 21st September
Beefmince is primarily a night for big, beefy bears, but it’s for everyone really – you’re welcome however you present! It’s got a friendly vibe and great music, ambling into the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in a glorious glut of hairy forearms and great t-shirts. Everyone who goes, wears great t-shirts. With fab prints of poppers and things. We notice things like that. We’re very perceptive. The DJs on hand are Silverhook and Cactushead. Both great DJ names. We’re not sure what they mean, but they’re great all the same.
Jesus L’Oreal – Nailed It
Now, we’re not really sure WHAT THIS IS, but let’s face it, it’s The Glory, we don’t need to know what it is – we just need to turn up and have our senses assaulted whilst having a gin & tonic. There’s an utter joy in that, like no other. Here’s what we DO know – Jesus L’Oreal, “sassy King of the Shoes” (?!) is coming to The Glory to complete the Holy Trinity with a “high-octane hour of song, dance and Jehovah’s fitness.” Some people sit at home and watch Bake Off. But not us. We’ll be at The Glory, seeing that. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Saturday 22nd September
Horse Fair – Advertiser Content
The Horse Fair is the niche underground club where willing mares offer themselves to stallions, without ever showing their faces. On arrival, mares, stableboys and stallions are sent to separate areas of the club so that they do not come into contact with each other until everyone has been to auction. The mares are then stripped naked, hands bound and their heads covered, before being taken into the auction room by the stable lads. They are presented to the stallions, who should bid for their selections before the pairings can begin. When a stallion finishes, he returns his mare to the auction room for the next waiting stallion. This is a private event and anyone wishing to attend must decide on a role for the evening before applying for their invitation online at www.jamiehp.co.uk. Invitations are sent to a carefully vetted guest list. For maximum enjoyment, every participant must be fully aware of the rules that are also available online.
XXL is a nightclub near Blackfriars Bridge, catering primarily to the bear community. It’s got two big dancefloors, and a range of DJs on rotation. They have a different theme each week. This week it’s ‘XXL Construction’ – attendees are encouraged to wear fluorescent jackets and hard hats. Their special guest DJ is Pagano.
Sunday 23rd September
SBN/NBN – Advertiser Content
Tireless Leo Rex (pictured) returns to #SBN Stark Bollock Naked this Sunday, where he we will be teaming up with the delectable London boy James Bennett on the SBN stage for a steamy live show. Latin lad Leo is always keen to return to SBN, probably because there is nothing quite like it in the UK for fun, dance and fetish, and the club has become a hangout for many of those who perform for Jamie HP Events. We look forward to see how the pair will embrace the on-stage props, clothing and other gear that will be provided for the show by our sponsor, Clonezone. The hottest beats and commercial sounds are provided by Flaviano, Lee Harris and Tony Latex on rotation. For guys looking for fun, there is a sprawling play-space for them to explore, expertly fitted with gear by the team at #UKRed. Underwear lovers or those who like jockstraps can put the items on from 6pm when #NBN Near Bollock Naked joins the action.
Fire, 6A South Lambeth, SW8 1SP. 2pm – 10pm. £17 guests, £14 members. Save on the cost of admission by claiming your value-added membership at www.jamiehp.co.uk.
Welcome to possibly the wildest Sunday night party in the UK! Well, except Sarah Harding’s house, which we imagine is a wild party every night of the week. Orange is the brainchild of party leviathans and queens of the Vauxhall scene, Orange Nation. They’ve given London a much needed shot of debauchery with ORANGE and after-hours gay dance party for people who aren’t quite ready to admit the weekend’s over yet. Complete with strobe lights, cute boys, glowsticks and the scene’s best DJs.
Horse Meat Disco
It’s safe to say, Horse Meat Disco is one of London’s most beloved LGBTQ nights. It’s a bit messy, it’s a bit silly, it’s a lot fun! Basically, the key to it is that no-one takes themselves too seriously. Nobody’s held back by preconceptions or what they’re wearing, or how wasted they are. It’s just a wonderful utopia of disco and delights. And because it’s a Sunday night, it’s a glorious mix of students, people who don’t work on Mondays (who are always the most interesting people) and people who have been out all weekend. Go check it out it if you haven’t been, you won’t be disappointed. And if you ARE disappointed, we’ll refund you the cost of this magazine. OH WAIT, WE’RE FREE. Ha! Joke’s on you.
The funny thing about this Soho staple is that it has any of those straight people who wander in feeling like the only straight in the Village. ESPECIALLY when those Village GoGo boys get dancing and the crowd gets ogling. It’s a pity us Brits have pound coins and not dollar bills, if we did Village would have a thick carpet of them every weekend. It’s open late during the week, which we LOVE. There’s nothing worse than having to behave yourself on a Wednesday night when everything’s closing at midnight like some fairytale pumpkin. Long live Cinderella and her GoGo-boy drawn carriage.
We love this cute venue that has cute boys serving you drinks, dressed in tight t-shirts. Make as much eyes at them as you want, there’s no use. They’ve all probably got themselves a big banker man buying them nice things. But, this being Little Ku, it means you’re that much closer to the hot tourists who wander in after seeing Aladdin. They walk in wide-eyed after seeing a half naked man singing about rubbing his lamp, gagging for a boogie and a drink from a kind stranger.
It’s that fancy-smancy place where you can grab a cocktail during the evening and preuse the sexy men on Soho waltzing past down Wardour street. That is, unless it’s a Friday or Saturday night, because it get’s super dancy on the weekends. Oh, and unless it’s Monday because their Kinky Cabaret is a staple of the weekly gay schedule, where else can you see West End stars getting sassy and get sloshed yourself? OH! And unless it’s this Wednesday when Miss Scarlet Fever is getting red hot and fabulous! She’s sure to get the crowd riled up with a song or two.
Going down is something you do often, we know. But going down to Clapham is just as fun, and you don’t even have to worry about having grass stains on your knees! Every week they bring you London’s drag icons, from Charlie Hides to Danny Beard. They take over the glitter stage, and bust those dance rooms wide open. There’s something about the gays down at the Brewers, they always seem to be two dates away from asking you to be their boyfriend. They’ll buy you that first drink and make sure you’re staying with them that night. A one night stand’s always cheaper than an Uber back North!
It’s Warren Street’s dirtiest secret. This cruise bar is one of London’s top sexy hang-outs, the perfect place to go and let off some steam. Open every day from one to one, so that you can maybe score a one to one with that fitty who’s been eyeing you up. They’ve got a weekly program that means you have your pick of what you feel like getting into. If you’re into the chase then get cruising, or turn up starkers on a Thursday night when things get really wild, the Stripped night has the bar’s crowd steaming and writhing in ecstasy.
139-143 Whitfield Street, W1T 5EN