Friday 9th December: Fitladz
Phwoar! Those fit lads at Fitladz (see what we did there? Eh? Wink wink!). They’re descending on supercool Camden drinking den The Bloc, for a night of cheeky fun innit! We love the phrase “cheeky fun”. It kind of sums up the entire London gay scene actually. It’s all just a bit of cheeky fun. Anyway, Fitladz is especially cheeky, because they’re currently running a Rear Of The Year competition. Hosted by Stevie B, cheeky chappies get up on stage and get their arses out, for the chance to win £100. Hooray! Why? Why not! This is the sort of thing we live for. Bums and cash. The QX story.
The Bloc, 18 Kentish Town Road, NW1 9NX. 9pm – 3am.
Friday 9th December: Blocheads
The weekly Blocheads at East London institutoon East Bloc, is a melee of maleficent goings-on and headily hedonistic happenings! Yes! Sorry, we’re feeling amazingly alliterative today. Apparently. Sigh. We need to get a life. If you want to get YOUR life, head to Blocheads! It’s party vibez with the city’s coolest club kids, the sickest DJ sets, and the most debauched clubbing atmosphere this side of the Berghain. They’ve got Martyn Fitzgerald DJing, as well as HiFi Sean and Guy Williams on roation.
East Bloc, 217 City Road, EC1V 1JN. 11pm – 6am. £5 before midnight, £10 after.
Friday 9th December: A:M
From AM to PM! Well, actually, it’s from PM to AM. It starts at 11pm and finishes at 11am! Speaking of PMs, imagine Theresa May out and about in Vauxhall. Rocking those leopardprint kitten heels. Gross. Actually y’know who WOULD be a laugh on a night out in Vauxhall…Sarah Palin! Insane politics aside, she’d get down with the kids after a few jagerbombs, we just know it! Sarah, if you fancy a trip to A:M, just DM us on Twitter. From DM to AM! Sigh. Anyway, A:M is amazeballs – proper shirts off dancing euphoria! And that’s what being gay is all about isn’t it. Well, that and anal sex.
Fire, 6A South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP. 11pm – 11am. £4 before 1am, £8 adv.
Saturday 10th December: Discosodoma
It’s disco! It’s sodomy! It’s Discosodoma! One of Dalston Superstore’s most frenetically faggy parties is back in town for a winter edition! They’ve always got totally major posters. So major, that they often get stolen from the bathroom walls. That’s the sign of a good clubnight poster innit! The sort of thing people want to steal and stick on the walls of their Bethnal Green bedsit. This time around, they’ve drafted in DJ Powder! She’s from Japan. We’ve never met her, but we’re picturing intricate fingernail art and a coolly severe bob. And perhaps a see-through latex jacket. She’s joint by Stathis, Mikki Most and Will Cozforg!
Dalston Superstore, 117 Kingsland High Street, E8 2PB. 9pm – 3am. Free before 10pm, £7 after.
Saturday 10th December: XXL Pagano
XXL are BACK this week with their usual big beary extravaganza. It’s all about bootcut jeans and checkered shirts and big furry chests. Phwoar! It’ll no doubt be a rip-roaring, hairy-hugging fiesta! Bears know how to party, possibly more than any other gay social group! Yes! XXL have brought out the big guns too, with a DJ set from Pagano.
Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF. 10pm – 7am. Members £10, guests £15.
Saturday 10th December: Papa Trek
WE COME IN PEACE! Beam me up! Help me Anakin…right, we’re not gonna pretend we’re au fait with Star Trek references. We’ve got no idea what we’re talking about. But we do love a bit of Star Trek, it’s great! Give us camp outfits and homoerotic dialogue and we’re IN. Notorious Tel Aviv party starters Papa are having an ENTIRE NIGHT dedicated to it. They’re hyperspeeding (?) into Vauxhall for an event of intergalactic proportions! The sinfully hot Eliad Cohen is bringing special guest superstar DJ Teddy Clarks to the main floor, alongside Tom Stephan, Tomo Woodland, Lee Harris and Gonzalo.
Fire London, 39 Parry Street, SW8 1RT. 11pm. Tickets £11.
Sunday 11th December: Beyond
Time to head to…THE BEYOND! Throw clothes, inhibitions and oyster cards to the winds, jump on the Victoria Line, and go to the most hedonistic clubbing experience this side of Berghain. It starts at 4am on Sunday morning! Now THAT’S some unapologetic hedonism isn’t it. And it finishes at midday! Utterly outrageous. Loves it.
Fire, 39 Parry Street, SW8 1RT. 4am – 12pm. Tickets £11 adv from orangenation.co.uk