Club News

    Thursday 13th June

    The Quizzarding World

    Are you the ultimate Harry Potter fan? Do you know your knarls from your nifflers and your bludgers from your quaffles? Did you have a crush on Oliver Wood? Did you do the Sorting Hat quiz on Pottermore 50000 times until you got the answer you wanted? Well then this night at the RVT is certainly for you! Brought to you by queer Potter collective The Lost Diaphragm, it’s a pub quiz about all things Harry Potter, with cash prizes and world-class cabaret. How THAT for a Thursday night?! Mischief managed!

    The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY. 7pm – midnight. Advance tickets £6.19 (inc. booking fee) at vauxhalltavern.com

     

    Advertisement

    Mariah’s Hairy Ball

    It’s Mariah Hairy’s birthday, and she’s celebrating with a big hairy ball at The Glory! It will come as no surprise that she loves Mariah Carey, so there’ll be lots of Mariah tunes we imagine, plus she’s joined by some of the most extra drag performers in town; Keela Kraving, Thalia Ostara, Madonna Kebab (LOL) and Psycho Fag. There’s gonna be a ROAST of Ms Hairy (basically drag queens being mean to each other, if you’ve never been to one) as well as a big queer dance party with music brought to you by Maltese pop hun Keith St John.

    The Glory, 281 Kingsland Road, E2 8AS. Doors 5pm, shows from 8pm. £10 OTD.

     

    Friday 14th June

    BRÜT RAW

    Brüt’s got a new home and a, shall we say, unapologetic new name. BRÜT RAW! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. It’s a cruisey dance party for gay men, where you’re encouraged to dress SEXY. Harnesses not compulsory, but certainly encouraged. It’s mostly the big burlier type who go there, but all guys are welcome. It’s a very pumping Vauxhall vibe, not for the faint-hearted! It’s deliciously debauched, and that’s what we love.

    Union Nightclub, 66 Albert Embankment, Vauxhall SE1 7TW. 10pm – 5am. £5 entry before midnight with flyer, £10 after.

     

    Fitladz

    Listen up you fit lads! Here’s a night for ya. Formerly a monthly night, Fitladz has gone weekly, and it’s at Bunker Bar over by Old Street Station. It’s a cruise/sex night for guys into the “scally” look or “chav” look (and yeah we know ‘chav’ is problematic, we’re just using it for the purposes of this piece so there). The vibe is Gola trainers, grey trakkies, stuff like that. What is it about a guy in grey trakkies?! Always, always, always fit. Maybe you could shave a strip out of your eyebrow if you’re feeling particularly adventurous. Life on the edge!

    Bunker Bar, 217 City Road, EC1V 1JN. 10pm – 5am. £10 entry including first drink.

     

    Saturday 15th June

    XXL Lumberjack

    Did you know ‘lumbersexual’ is a thing? It’s when you’re either attracted sexually to, or identify sexually as, a lumberjack. That means blue jeans (or black, but blue is better we feel) with a chequered shirt – red or green or yellow. A beard if possible, the bigger the better. And big SHOULDERS. Oh and Timberland boots. Phwoar. DON’T bring an axe with you, you’ll get arrested. Taking it a bit far. But other than that, embrace the entire lumberjack look. XXL is cavernous, and always packed with big burly guys. So if that’s your thing, get down there!

    Pulse, 1 Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF. 10pm – 7am. £15 guests, £10 members.

     

    ATHENA

    Eagle’s big ol’ BITCHSLAP of a party Athena is back for a sultry summer edition! It’s all about eighties vibes, not just in terms of music but in terms of AESTHETICS. Think big shoulder pads and bigger hair! Think throwing a crème-de-menthe in Joan Collins’s face. Think cheese and pineapple on sticks. Think…we can’t think of anything else 80s. Leopard print! Ferris Bueller’s Day Off! Big jumpers! There we go. The night will have gorge glam eighties tunes provided by resident DJ Paul Joseph, as well as special guest Phil Marriott.

    Eagle London, 349 Kennington Lane, SE11 5QY. 9pm – 4am. Free before 10pm, £6 after.

     

    TFN

    “TFN” stands for “Totally Fekking Nude” – we like a night who are brazen about their activities! Brought to you by fetish connoisseur Jamie HP, TFN is an attitude-free sex party where it’s all about one thing – getting down and getting off! It’s slap bang in the middle of Covent Garden, the innocent tourists and salubrious shoppers of Seven Dials having no idea what’s going on mere METRES away from them. Quite iconic really, if you think about it.

    Covent Garden Health Spa, WC2H 7BA. 9pm – 2am. Members £16, includes coat check.

     

    Sunday 16th June

    SBN

    Sunday is the perfect time for a sex/cruise night. We’ve all been in that frustrating place on Sunday afternoons, where you wanted to pull over the weekend but didn’t, and you’re just listlessly scrolling through Grindr. So get yourself down to SBN in Vauxhall! It stands for Stark Bollock Naked, which means you leave your clothes at the door. There’s a special play space designed by fetish experts UK Red, as well as pumping beats and a live XXX stage show from Antonio Miracle and Wolf Rayet. And people say Sundays are quiet! Join from 6pm for NBN, where you can wear underpants.

    Union Nightclub, 66 Albert Embankment, SE1 7TW. 2pm – 10pm.

     


    Bar News

    Ku Bar

    Ugh. This weather really isn’t serving up those summer vibes. Sipping on a tinnie in the back garden under a cloudy sky isn’t what June’s all about. Thankfully, it’s always summer at Ku Bar, where the drinks are fresh and the boys are barely dressed. Sip on a delectably fizzy glass of Aperol Spritz and have a good gawk at the muscled torso of a handsome barman. Why bother cramming your short shorts into a backpack and hopping on a budget flight to some Spanish island when Ku’s serving everything you head abroad looking for. Fat summer beats? Check. Topless handsome boys? Check. Strong drinkies? CHECK.

    30 Lisle St, Leicester Square WC2H 7BA

     

    Halfway 2 Heaven

    Sundays used to be the most sociable day of the week, but now we’re locking ourselves indoors nursing a hangover, binge-watching the Real Housewives. WHERE is the fun in that? Fighting the good fight are the luscious hips of Crystal d’Catner and the bountiful bosom of Kelly Mild who take over the afternoon at Halfway to Heaven. For twelve years these two have been working the London scene, and there ‘s only one thing more jaded than a drag queen, and that’s one that’s been working in London for over a decade. Halfway have two of them! There’s no knowing what mischief will ensue when these two get together…

    7 Duncannon St, Charing Cross WC2N 4JF

     

    The Apple Tree

    Don’t you just LOVE a birthday!? This week the darling Apple tree is having its first this Saturday, and we can’t wait to fill up on jelly and ice cream and break an arm on the bouncing castle. Actually, it’s probably going to be more tequila and beer than Party Rings and terrifying clowns… oh wait, there will be a clown! Hosting the evening will be the oh-so-sophisticated Paris Rivers, who’ll be welcoming Gem the Clown to the Apple Tree stage. Then taking to the deck so you can get your booty-shaking going will be Neopink. The Apple Tree has been providing a relaxed safe space for queer folks for a year so it’s time to celebrate.

    45 Mount Pleasant, Clerkenwell WC1X 0AE 

     

    The Old Ship

    Despite looking like your typical local pub, The Old Ship in Limehouse is glitteringly gay, from the statues of muscled torsos that lie within, to the host of drag delinquents that take over each weekend. This weekend is no exception as two of the London scene’s best-loved performers prepare to tear the roof off the pub. Gosh, we hope their insurance covers demolition by drag queens. On Saturday night Miss Jason holds court, being both queen and jester, to tickle the crowd’s funny bones and break a few ribs. Then on Sunday Tracey Barlow takes over with her *cough* distinct brand of cabaret. Nothing can prepare you for the shoulder-jiggling nonsensical gesticulations of Mz Barlow, so better get a drink in you before she gets going.

    17 Barnes St, Limehouse E14 7NW

     

    Freedom Bar

    A night out in Soho just wouldn’t be a night out in Soho without ending up swinging around a silver pole with a splashing Cosmopolitan in one hand and a handsome stranger in the other. THAT’s why Freedom Bar really draws in a crowd each week, with that downstairs club being a place that you can really let loose. Three sheets to the wind and three shots in, there’s nothing that can stop you dropping it like it’s scorching hot on the Freedom dance floor. We like to think we’re one of those Beyoncé backup dancers at Coachella after some tequila and the tunes they churn out always have us living our fantasy. For those nights that start civilised but swiftly descent into madness, Freedom is most definitely a go-to.

    60-66 Wardour St, Soho W1F 0TA

    Advertisement
    Previous articleWednesday 12th June
    Staff Writer - Bringing you THE HOTTEST news and articles on (almost) every aspect of the London gay scene and LGBQTI culture!