DAVEY WAVEY: The YouTube star on how he plans to bring down slut-shaming

Davey Wavey

Most people know Davey Wavey for his bright-eyed, bushy-tailed YouTube videos, about everything from travel to drag queens, to body image, to whether Rose Gold iPhones are gay or not.

With over a million subscribers, he’s a force to be reckoned with. His opinions and actions have a massive impact on thousands of young gay men. Which makes it all the more important that he’s now focusing on promoting positive and open attitudes towards sex.

He’s just launched a platform called Himeros, which helps gay men explore the most rewarding ways to have sex.

We got him to tell us all about it, plus what he makes of things like slut-shaming and the relationship between porn and sex.

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Hey Davey! So tell us a little about your new project.

A few months ago, I launched Himeros.tv. It’s a website that uses gay erotica as a tool to enhance gay men’s experience of sex and sexuality through exploration, connection and ecstasy. Each week, we upload a new video that embodies a teaching, technique or truth about gay sex in a way that’s beautiful, juicy and totally hot. It’s everything from masturbation techniques to tutorials on full body orgasms – and everything in between.

What are you hoping to achieve with it?

In a nutshell, the goal is for gay men to have better sex. I believe that gay men are having a lot of sex. But how much of that sex is connected? How much of that sex is ecstatic? How much of that sex is truly great sex? If we’re honest with ourselves, I think there’s a lot of room for improvement. And since we already enjoy watching porn, why not use porn to help demonstrate better sex?

What was the HOTTEST MOMENT when you were shooting stuff?

As someone who was raised Catholic, I find myself blushing and giggling through each shoot. Having said that, we did a beautiful film featuring Joey Mills and Blake Mitchell. The point of the video was to showcase all the ways to experience connection outside of anal or oral penetration, so we made the decision to keep the guys in tight white underwear throughout the entire video. Joey and Blake sprayed each other with a garden hose, and the white underwear didn’t leave much to the imagination. It was a really tantalizing and erotic video to shoot – and, to make the models comfortable, the entire crew wore white underwear.

Who’s your ideal man?

Someone who’s open minded and sexually adventurous. In my thirties, I feel like I’m finally starting to explore my sexuality in a way that’s joyful and exciting – and I’d like a guy who is able to take that journey with me. Someone who’s open to experimentation and trying new things, but without being attached to the outcome. Needless to say, it would require a lot of honesty and vulnerability.

Social media is really volatile at the moment. How has it been navigating that?

To be honest, my focus is on creating content. I’m not overly plugged into the zeitgeist, and I’m okay with that. To keep tabs on everything would be exhausting.

Do you think the gay community has a problem with slut-shaming?

I think society at large has a problem with slut-shaming. In a world where people are more comfortable seeing a gun than a penis in a film, you know there’s an issue. When sex is healthy and consensual, it has the effect of lifting us up. And that’s something we need to be celebrating rather than shaming. Because the word ‘slut’ has such a negative connotation, I’ve got into the habit of calling myself sexually generous. Most people find it more comfortable.

Why do you think gay men still have issues with sex?

Gay men have issues with sex because we’re brought up in a world that shames us for having it. From an early age, I was taught that being gay is wrong. I was told that gay people went to hell, and that it was an unnatural abomination. It pains me to even write those words, as I think they have weight and carry energy. They’ve been used like weapons against us for decades. Releasing that shame and guilt isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and it requires a personal journey. 

Whatever shame is, Himeros.tv is the opposite. I sought long and hard to find a proper antonym for shame in describing the website. Eventually, a sex coach friend of mine said, “The word you’re looking for is joy.” And he’s absolutely right. We infuse everything we do with joy, and it makes all the difference.

What do you think about the way porn is made at the moment?

I love porn. I’ll be the first to admit that. But let’s remember what porn is. It’s designed to get you off. It’s not designed to enhance your experience of sex and sexuality. Most porn follows a very predictable formula – because it’s a formula that works well. Most gay porn tends to lack creativity and it’s not particularly dynamic.

You start with two guys, in a hotel room. They are in their early 20s. There’s a bed. They make out. They undress, and rim each other. Eventually, they blow each other, fuck and ejaculate. That’s a formula that 99% of porn follows.

With Himeros.tv, we’ve thrown the equation out the window. Instead, we experiment. What happens when you open with a cum shot? What happens when one of the models is 83? What happens if you have sex in a cave? What happens if the goal isn’t cumming? What happens if we try this, or try that? That’s what we’ve been doing.

 

What do you think is the best way to have a healthy relationship with porn and sex?

I think it’s to remember what porn is and what porn isn’t. Porn is a lot of fun and can be very empowering. But it’s not teaching you how to have better sex.

Finally…what advice would you give to young gay guys wanting to do what you do?  

I’ve been making video content for 11 years. And in those 11 years, many different trends and fads have come and gone. But what I’ve always done is create content about the things I’m passionate about. If you can tap into your passion and share it with the world in a way that adds value to their lives, it doesn’t get better than that. That’s your dharma. That’s your purpose.

For more info on Himeros, head to himeros.tv. Subscribe to Davey Wavey on YouTube at wickydkewl, or follow him on Instagram at OfficialDaveyWavey.

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