With Baga Chipz, Tanya Hyde and G-A-Y’s Michael “Bitch-All” Mitchell
Whether you’re an experienced exhibitionist or simply can’t bare the city in the midst of the heat wave, rock out with your cock out with our guide to getting it off – and potentially on. We’ve included everything from the preparation (straggly pubes are not a good look) to the accessories (because a cock ring can really jazz up a non-outfit)…
Have you got the balls to take part in Naked Gay London?
“UP IN THE CLUB…”
Stripped every Monday and Thursday
Vault, 139b-143 Whitfield Street, W1T 5EN
Stripped is more than just an album by Christina Slaguilera – it’s Vault’s twice-weekly night where the clientele wear nothing but flesh. And just in case you’re a little shy, your first drink is on the house.
Butt Naked every Monday
The Underground Club, Central Station, 37 Wharfdale Road, Kings Cross, N1
What better way to shake off the Monday blues than shedding your clothes and relaxing with like-minded guys? Boozing or cruising, you can enjoy a few hours of relaxing fun, attitude – and clothing – free.
SBN every Saturday/Sunday
The Hoist, 47c South Lambeth Road, SW8 1RH
Stark Bollock Naked is the weekly night at The Hoist where underwear and inhibitions are left at the door. A popular end to the week for horny guys – because the weekend isn’t complete until you’ve bust a nut. Head down on Saturday for ‘Afterdark’ that features a live sex show.
G-A-Y Porn Idol every Thursday
Heaven, Heaven, Villiers Street, WC2N 6NG
The amateur strip-show that’s open to anyone with balls big enough to bare all in front of a packed out club of revellers, and this week’s cover stars Baga Chipz, Tanya Hyde and Michael “Bitch All” Mitchell. Pick your song and flaunt your moves (along with everything else) for your chance to win £100. The grand final winner takes home £1,000. Think you have what it takes to win? Simply text 07789 553 868 to take part!
Amateur Strip Contest every Wednesday
BJ’s White Swan, 556 Commercial Road, E14
Ever watched The Full Monty and thought you could do it better? Here’s your chance. Get your kit off midweek for your chance to win £100, hosted by Saucy Sophie we’re willing to bet she’s not as saucy as the contestants.
Nudity (special events)
At Union, 66 Albert Embankment, Vauxhall, SE1 7TP
Ever looked across a club at a hot guy and wondered what he’d look like with pants on your bedroom floor? Of course, who hasn’t? Well, with Vauxhall’s naked disco you don’t have to wonder – ‘cause he’ll be shacking out with his tackle out.
Ted’s Place Men’s Nights every Tuesday
305a North End Rd, W14
Ted’s Place boasts a “relaxed and cruisy” atmosphere, and it seems this especially applies on Tuesdays where patrons recline in their Kleins – or even less. So if you’re planning on popping down, it’s probably a good idea to make sure its not laundry day.
BUFF Wednesday, Saturday a Sunday (excluding first Sunday of the month when it moves to NXCC for Buff ‘Southside’)
MA1 Backstreet, Wentworth Mews, Mile End, E3 4UA
When it comes to cruising, the Backstreet is more equipped than Mark Wahlberg in tighty whities. With a large playspace we can only imagine the kind of games going down. Enjoy horny visuals – and we’re not just talking about the porn on screen.
“WHERE’S THINGS GET STEAMY…”
SaunaBar
29 Endell Street, Covent Garden, WC2H 9BA
In the heart of Covent Garden you’ll find an underground play den with a relaxed and intimate vibe. Grab a beer (only £3) from the bar, or a cock in the steam room. With a discreet doorway, it won’t be obvious where (or who) you’re entering.
Pleasuredrome
Arch 124 Cornwall Road, Waterloo SE1 8XE
Located under the railway arches of Waterloo is a labyrinth of cosy cubicles with low ceilings – which is totally fine as you’ll be on your back anyway. Get a private room, or pay for a deluxe one if you’re swanky. And if you know how to work it, you’ll have a man carrying a tray of tequila shots to you while you recline in the pool (trust us, we’ve done it).
Chariots
Limehouse: 574 Commercial Road, E14 7JD
Shoreditch: 1 Fairchild Street, EC2A 3NS
Vauxhall: 63-64 Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP
Streatham: 292 Streatham High Road, SW16 6HG
Waterloo: 101 Lower Marsh, SE1 7AB
Chariots is the biggest sauna chain in London with fives venues around the city – they’re basically the Starbucks of shagging. Shoreditch is their largest venue spread over three floors with a pool for skinny-dipping. Vauxhall, arguably the most popular of them all sees a mixture of hot businessmen and horny clubbers getting sweaty and sketty.
With the UK’s largest sauna cabin and a 40-man steam room, you’ll be salivating like Cee Lo Green in Greggs at the Waterloo branch. For those East End boys, head to Limehouse where each floor has a different theme and a huge shower space where you can get dirty while getting clean. Last but not least, satisfying the boys of South, the Streatham venue doubled up on steam rooms, saunas and video rooms – because two is always better than one.
Sweatbox
1-2 Ramilies Street, Soho, W1F 7LN
Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, Sweatbox hosts a twink-fest on Mondays with under 25s getting in free. While you can get soaped up – and rubbed down – at Wednesday and Saturday night’s foam parties. It’s not the kind of bubbly we’re used to, but it’ll do! Set over three floors, the Soho-based gym-cum-sauna is complete with massage room, hot tubs and cubicles.
Steamworks
309 New Cross Road, SE14 6AS
Based in New Cross, the traditional styled sauna has a video room – although we doubt you’ll catch them playing a RomCom – steam room, cubicles and sauna. And if you find yourself working up a thirst, grab a free refreshment or put your feet (and legs) up in the sling. Check out Buff ‘South Side’ (9pm-9am) every first Sunday of the month for total naked cruising shenanigans!
800 – TVs on Tuesdays and Thursdays
800 Leabridge Rd, E17 9DN
Over in Walthamstow 800 club/sauna hosts alternative cruise nights for transgendered women and their admirers. So, if you’re not afraid to get your hair wet – or sticky – then you’re in the right place. Includes a dungeon for those real kinky bitches.
E15
6 Leytonstone Road,E15 1SE
The Leytonstone-based sauna has a homely feel to it. That’s if you’re living room was next door to your dungeon. Whether you’d rather relax on the sofa or in the large hot tub, the cosy setting of E15 will make any hoe feel at home.
Locker Room
8 Cleaver Street, SE11 4DP
One of the more intimate saunas of London, The Locker Room is set underground – kind of like a horny Aladdin’s cave; if Aladdin was a big ‘mo obviously. They host a range of nights, with every last Saturday of the month fully naked. And there’s an extra large bed area – well they do say ‘the more the merrier’. Based in Kennington.
“A BEAUTIFUL MANSCAPE”
The Soho Salon
5 Carlisle Street, Soho, W1D 3BJ
If you’re getting naked you wanna look you’re best – and The Soho Salon do everything… And we mean everything. From back, sack and crack waxes to mani and pedis via facials and spray tans. Whether you have it plucked, tucked, tweezed or squeezed, The Soho Salon will have you ripping your clothes off just to flaunt the results.
The Tanning Shop
326 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, SE11 5HY
Everyone looks better with a healthy glow, so if you’re too hanging to salontro around Hampstead Heath in the Sunday sun or our unpredictable British weather is just pissing it down, in The Tanning Shop the sun shines every day.
“IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD PUT A (COCK) RING ON IT”
RoB
47b/47c South Lambeth Road, Vauxhall, SW8 1RH
Everyone knows it’s the attention to detail that makes the difference, so just because you’re naked doesn’t mean you can’t accessorize. Go from camp to clamps with RoB fetish wear that also stock a range of collars, caps and cock rings.
Expectations
75 Great Eastern Street, EC2A 3RY
They do say accessories make the outfit – especially if the outfit is non-existent. With one of the largest fetish retail spaces in Europe, whether you’re looking for a wristband to glam up the hand jobs you’ll be doling out or some shades to hide your shame while dashing out of the sauna on a Monday morning, Expectations won’t disappoint.
Prowler
5-7 Brewer Street, Soho, W1F 0AF
The Soho-based store stocks a variety of products that will enhance your naked appearance. Cock rings to give your manhood that little extra oomfff, lotions to oil up those pecs and, of course, a douche to make sure your cheeks are skid-free.
CloneZone
35 Old Compton Street, Soho, W1D 5JX
266 Old Brompton Road, Earls Court, SW5 9HR
Along with sex toys, lube and other naked necessities, CloneZone also stock a few items that can help your quest for naked perfection, such as a wireless pubic hair trimmer and anal bleach! Let’s face it boys, it’s really not about flossing with pubes in your teeth.
Regulation
17a St Alban’s Place, N1 0NX
An online store for the kinkier kind out there, they sell everything from gas masks (perfect for guys with hot bodies and not so hot faces) to puppy collars (great for keeping your bitch in tow) and everything unimaginable in-between!
Fantasy Toys
fantasytoys.co.uk
This online site has plenty of ways that you can add a bit of sparkle to that bare body of yours – and with nipples and navel rings, we mean that quite literally! Or those artier types, why not pick up an adult paint box – your body is a canvas! Or why not release your inner stripper – there’s 10% off the Carmen Electra Dance Pole so hurry while stocks last, dear.
“ALTERNATIVE EXPOSURE…”
Naked Boys Reading 2nd Birthday
26th September
Vogue Fabrics, 66 Stoke Newington Road, Dalston, N16 7XB
We love reading. And we love naked lads. It may not be the most organic of unions – but the monthly event from Naked Boys Reading brings two of our passions together – books and balls. Watch out for paper cuts!
Velvet Tongue: Quarterly
Kick Bar, 127 Shoreditch High Street, E1 6JE
Ernesto Sarezale presents a literary soiree dedicated to erotic writing and performance. So, if you’ve got a salacious story to share or a tantalizing tale to tell, or if 50 Shades of Grey just simply didn’t touch the sides (no pun intended) why not head down to one of the events and see if that gets the juices flowing.
Naked Yoga
The Actors Centre, 1a Tower Street, London, WC2H 9NP
Classes last between 75 and 90 minutes and vary on their level of difficulty. So whether you be a novice or more flexible than a Pussycat Doll, there’ll be a class to suit your abilities. Beginners will learn how to de-stress and up their awareness of their body (as well as everyone else’s).
Hampstead Heath Men’s Ponds
Hampstead Heath, NW5 1QR
One of the things we love most about going on holiday is getting drunk, throwing our clothes in a bush and going skinny dipping. Well now you don’t even need to leave the country for that. And it’s a great hangout for a sunny Sunday – we haven’t seen that many queens in budgy smugglers since Circuit Festival.
Naked Mates
www.nakedmates.co.uk
An online community set up for men that like to meet up with like-minded guys for naked activities. During the summer months they hold weekly night walks into the woods – we’re guessing the only bears you’ll encounter won’t be the grizzly kind – and nude house parties to keep the blood flowing through the winter months.
Male London Socials:
A friendly male naturist group that host nude socials with pot luck food – we’d advise against Wotsits – crumbs are a nightmare to pick out of pubes. They also hold film nights and hot tubs parties but the emphasis is on sociability not sexuality.
