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We love pointless award ceremonies as much as the next scene magazine, so, apropos of absolutely nothing, we thought we’d dole out some pointless prizes this week to our favourite advertisers and/or friends. So, fished straight out of the bin in Peckham Rye, it’s the MENZ AWARDZ.


Most Savage: SAVAGE


Best Night Named After a Sandra Bullock Film: GRAVITY


Most Birdlike: EAGLE


Best Pem: JANISHA (Bloc Bar)


Best Carbohydrate: JACQUI POTATO


Crispiest: LOLA LASAGNE


Best Bar Named After a Small Settlement: VILLAGE


Highest Number of Janet Jackson Tracks Played in One Night: R&She


Best Lighting for First Dates: CIRCA


Best NiekoKU BAR


Longest Fag Break: GLENDORA


Most Glorious: THE GLORY


Best Guest Appearance on Birds of a Feather: DAVE LYNN


Baggiest Pipes: MARY MAC


Best Slot: MISS PENNY


Most Glorious: THE GLORY


Best Club Night Artwork Featuring Kim Woodburn: STRAIGHT NASTY


Best Duo: TWO BREWERS


Closest to Trafalgar Square: HALFWAY 2 HEAVEN


Most Central: CENTRAL STATION


Most Stable: THE STABLE


Best Foliage: THE YARD


Best Cackle/Cape Combo: JOHN SIZZLE


Best Smoking Area That’s Not Just The Street Outside: BLOC BAR


Caner of the Year: STACEY FROM ACCOUNTS & SARAH HARDING OF TV’S ‘THE JUMP’


Oldest Member: SILVER SUMMERS


Most Sexual Gym: SWEATBOX


Best Chrissy Darling: CHRISSY DARLING


Most Plus-Sized: XXL


Best Penis-Related Decor: BRUT


Grandest Dame: COMPTONS OF SOHO


Most CanadianCITY OF QUEBEC


Best Postcode-Based Name: WEST 5


 Biggest Boobathon: MZZ KIMBERLEY


Most Nautical: OLD SHIP


Tightest: NANCY CLENCH


Slag: LADY LLOYD

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