Nothing gets us going in the DISH office like a good beauty pageant! We live for Little Miss Perfect toddlers and tiaras and movies like Drop Dead Gorgeous that encapsulate all the good you can find in the human race.
So doing our own Mr Dish event came naturally, and we asked the boys from Manhunt to sponsor the event because somebody needed to pay for the limo, the crown and our judges don’t come cheap! Forget about Gary, Louis & Sharon! We have Jonny Woo, Alex and La Paqueña! They know true beauty when they see it! We’re sure they will choose the right person to be the ambassador for anything DISH in the coming year!
People approach us in the street all the time and asking us… What are you looking for in a contestant? What are the values of Mr Dish? Well, we can tell you that we are looking for: Personality…
Naaaah! We are looking for a hot piece of ass! Someone that can dance for the duration of my set and Tom’s, and can dazzle all the boys in the room! The ingredients to make the perfect MR DISH, are… A yummy body, a peachy ass, good style, and it’s mandatory that he looks good in every situation, with and without clothes.
Having said that our top ten candidates of all time for MR DISH would be:
1. Tony Ward
This man encapsulates the DISH spirit! He is hot and he is trashy when he needs to be, and he has a yummy piece of ass!
2. Tom Selleck
With that moustache and that hairy chest he would have been an instant winner in our competition! And he ages well!
3. Jeff Stryker
This man was the quintessential porn star and has one of the juiciest cocks the world has ever seen. I was tempted to buy a replica and use it as a doorstopper recently.
4. Naomi Campbell
I mean who said Mr Dish had to be a man? And Naomi kicks ass, literally…
5. Joe D’Alessandro
He is DISH! We will cook him and eat him alive! What a body! What a muse.
6. James Franco
We have our differences on this one but after I showed Tom the cover of his Candy magazine, we both agreed he could be MR DISH… He needs some work though…
7. John Waters
Yes please! We salute him! He has it all! Too bad he can’t come down to judge the competition! DISH was inspired by the Wagon Wheel bar in his movie Pecker.
8. Marilyn Manson
Not for everybody, but in the room that Ray Noir and Olywood play he will be well received!
10. Spongebob
At Dish we also have a cute fun side, and he looks like he loves Acid house as much as we do! So yes, Spongebob for Mr Dish! He has my vote.
And that is all we can say. If I was any of the contestants I would be Googling all of the people mentioned above to try to understand what are the requirements we need from them. I would urge them to take notes like in Team Naomi, and watch every move! La Paqueña, Alex Han and Jonny Woo will be ruthless!
We are really looking forward to the night of the event, especially the talent part… We have already seen the evening wear and the swimwear. I heard one of them can fit an arm and a leg in his mouth, and another one can fit into any toilet regarding how many people are in it already – MAGIC!
One thing is for sure, if one of them answers ‘world peace’ to any of the questions fired by Jonny Woo, they will be removed destroyed and banned from the premises forever!
• DISH is at East Bloc, 217 City Road, Shoreditch, EC1V 1JN on Saturday 9th November, 10.30pm-6am.
