Here are the Top 12 tips to win the biggest contest in the gay fetish world, Mr Hoist 2015, brought to you by The Codpiece! (Who is the Codpiece? All will be revealed on contest night and everyone is in for a REAL treat…)
1. Do listen to your instincts and check your closet. Mr Hoist is about gear and kinky fetish stuff. So, if your only item of fetish clothing is a pair of rubber knickers Bridget Jones style, it’s not too late to get in touch with the best rubber maker on the planet. Dvote will fix it! And they are very nice and helpful, too!
2.Don’t panic! You might have not have 17 inch biceps or that perfect six pack but that’s not what the contest is about. What counts more than anything is personality and to be real and down to earth. Oh, and being kinky definitely helps.
3. Cruise the MC of the night, the current Mr Hoist Frankie (right), on Recon or Gaydar and even if you think he’s too kinky for you (as if!) tell him how sexy he looks!
4. Register early! Come down around 10pm when the club opens and tell the bar men that you wanna compete. Why? Because the contest is limited to strictly ten men.
5.Check the Ryanair and Easyjet websites! After all, you wanna be prepared for that luxurious jet-set holiday of a lifetime which your prize money will buy you.
6. Don’t tell anyone you are competing. Just in case you don’t win. And that definitely includes your nan.
7. Tell everyone you are competing! Since the audience will decide the winner you want to bring as many friends down on contest night so they can all vote for you!
8. Since the contest will give you a chance to represent the UK at this year’s International Mr Leather contest in Chicago you might wanna read up a bit about leather and gay fetish history. Five minutes on Wikipedia will do it.
9. Be prepared to strike up a conversation with the bar staff. They might not have a vote in the contest itself but they might slip you the odd free Vodka Red Bull later.
10. Wear something sexy! Obviously. And go easy on the fishnets…
11. Remember, the contest is the Oscars of the Leather World. And for the first time in a very long time it is back on the big Saturday night, so make a note in your diary.
12. Still not sure if this is for you? Just check your latest bank statement. If you win you could suddenly be £750 better off!
Who is The Codpiece’s Ultimate Mr Hoist?
“There is only one stud that would cut it in 2015 as Mr Hoist. Bradley Cooper! B-R-A-D-L-E-Y C-O-O-P-E-R! Why? Mr. Cooper is steaming. I mean: Mr. Cooper is steaming! Bulges in all the right place! Good short beard, hairy, a super-sexy smile. And he is gay and into leather and rubber and fetish. No really! He might not know all that at the moment, but I have an inkling he will discover his true sexual identity one day. And then there will be no stopping Bradley to grab the title of Mr Hoist that he always secretly wanted. Never mind an Oscar. Until then: I can dream. And I dream a lot these days.”
• Mr Hoist 2015 is at The Hoist (Arches 47b & 47c, South Lambeth Road, Vauxhall, SW8 1RH) on Saturday 7th February.
