Savage

Savage. Savage, Savage, Savage. What are we going to do with you?! The world is a better place with Savage. You know what actually, the world would be a better place if everyone had a night out at Savage!

Donald Trump doesn’t need votes, or money, or xenophobic sensibilities. HE JUST NEEDS A NIGHT OUT AT SAVAGE. Azealia Banks doesn’t need Twitter, or cultural appropriation, or record labels. SHE JUST NEEDS A NIGHT OUT AT SAVAGE. Margaret Thatcher doesn’t need the Faulkland Islands, or sleep, or a new wig. SHE. JUST. NEEDS. A. NIGHT. OUT. AT. SAVAGE.

Also, anyone who’s moaning about the gay scene in London dying can piss RIGHT off. How can you say the London gay scene is dying, when every weekend, on Friday and Saturday night, a three floor dance/drag/stripper sensation is going OFF and getting LIT.

Something that adds to the beauty of Savage, is that during the week it’s a straight strip club. If only those businessmen called Clive knew that in 24 hours a drag queen would be licking tequila off the seat right where he was sitting! Straight businessmen would probably love the Savage queens actually. He loves to switch it up, does our Clive. Hey Clive! *Waves*

Anyway, everyone’s going to Savage these days. We hear Kevin Spacey went dressed as Princess Diana. We hear Sarah Palin went dressed as Sarah Palin. We hear Lindsay Lohan popped in on her way to an after-party. That last one might actually be true, there are unconfirmed reports. And in QX, unconfirmed reports are GOOD ENOUGH. What?! Don’t look at us like that. We’re not the Sunday fucking Times. Put on a wig, down a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, get in an Uber to Savage, and get a LIFE.

• Savage is every Friday and Saturday at Metropolis Gentleman’s Club, 234 Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9NN. 11pm – late, £5 entry.