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Dylan Jones’ roundup of new music for people who listens to music!

 


So, this edition of Disco, Blisters & A Comedown is about…the best Girls Aloud B-sides. I know. Like, I’m really scraping the barrel now aren’t I. Oh well. THIS IS MY JOB, OK?! I tried to be a waiter and I kept getting fired! It’s not my fault I could only carry one plate at a time, and that I didn’t give a shit whether table 23 got their pumpkin ravioli. I decided to become a fucking writer, so sit down, shut up, and read about the three best Girls Aloud B-sides.

Aren’t the B-sides always the best?! ALWAYS. “B-side” is a bit of an invalid phrase these days, because it referred to when you actually physically turned the CD over to play what was on the other side. CDs were round shiny things that you used to put into a sort of slot and they’d play music. Anyway. These songs can now all be found on “Girls Aloud: The Collection (Studio Albums/B Sides)” which is on Spotify.

 

Thank Me Daddy

Just in time for father’s day! If a song has “daddy” anywhere in the title or lyrics, I will automatically love it. Do I have daddy issues? Maybe. I haven’t really thought about it. Although Sigmund Freud would probably have a field day analyzing my bookmarked porn (how you doin’ Rocco Steele?). I don’t know whether any of Girls Aloud have daddy issues. Let’s not go into it. It’s a good song anyway. Tongue-in-cheek lyrics, guitary backing track. Proper good old-fashioned cheeky pop! You can almost hear the sound of Sarah Harding’s mum’s jaw dropping in horror.

 

Hoxton Heroes 

Now THIS used to be my anthem! I first discovered it when I lived in a squat in Camden with a bunch of straight boys who had long shaggy hair and guitars and bad tattoos. It could NOT have been more timely. It’s got sassy lyrics in it like “You bought a trilby and a cheap guitar/You thought you’d be a star/Didn’t get you that far.” My friend Ainé and I used to play it gleefully and swig rosé, cackling at the kitchen table while the boys passed a joint around and scowled at us. THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

 

 

On The Metro

This so should have been a single! A proper brooding, dangerous, urban pop statement! It’s high-octane, with some great old-fashioned RHYMING! There’s never rhyming in pop songs these days. At one point Nicola croons “His moves were so ridiculous/but he looked so meticulous/I could tell that he meant business/gettin’ all up in mah face!” It’s probably the closest a ginger person has ever come to actually rapping, and it’s major!

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