We’ve all got our problem areas and our hang-ups. We’re often comparing ourselves to the gym-buff content-creators on Instagram and feeling like we never quite measure up.
Shouting at the mirror doesn’t help. We get used to pushing our self-doubt back into its box and heading out to face the world.
But if your anxiety about your appearance is getting the better of you, it can quickly spiral – crippling your self-esteem and reinforcing all the negative thoughts clamouring for your attention.
If your body anxiety is stopping you going out and connecting with guys, that becomes the narrative that defines your self-worth. You’re not meeting anyone because you’re not putting yourself out there, so you assume that you’re not meeting anyone because your body is undesirable. It’s a vicious cycle.
The beginning of a new year is a great opportunity to reframe the things that are worrying us – to take a fresh approach in tackling what we feel might be holding us back.
Could 2026 be the year that you become friends with the man in the mirror? Here’s some suggestions as to how to go about it.
Step away from social media
There is nothing to be gained from comparing yourself to strangers on the internet.
Numerous studies have demonstrated that the more time that you spend looking at social media, the worse you will feel about yourself.
Set yourself a screen-time limit. Unfollow people you don’t know. Pick up a book instead of scrolling through Instagram. Step away from the algorithm.
Exercise
Exercise doesn’t have to be about spending hours in the gym and chugging protein shakes to transform your body. That’s cool if that’s what you want to do, but there’s more to exercise than just trying to make yourself look like a walnut.
Researchers have established that even the simplest form of exercise will make you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s just a walk around the block, cycling to work, or going for a swim – any form of exercise signals to the body to release endorphins. Endorphins are your body’snatural feel-good chemicals – they enable your body to reduce feelings of stress, to feel relaxed, and to be more open to feeling pleasure.
Find a way to incorporate some exercise into your daily routine. You may not be changing how you look but you will be improving how you feel.
Connect with others
We live in a world where we’re increasingly isolated from other people – it’s just the way that capitalism works. We’ve got to make an effort to connect with others.
Counterintuitively, you might be having a lot of sex but still feeling lonely. Hook-ups are frequently transactional – just because you’re having sex with a guy doesn’t mean that you’re connecting with him in an authentic way.
Connection requires vulnerability – we have to feel safe enough to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with other men. Making authentic connections enables us to feel part of something bigger than ourselves, to feel part of a community.
How does that relate to anxiety about our body?
Spending time with other men helps to build our confidence and our resilience. Online spaces are a good starting point but real-world in-person connections are more powerful.
Sharing our stories and experiences puts some context around the things we’re worried or unsure about. None of us are perfect – we’re all just doing our best to muddle through the mess and confusion of day-to-day life.
Try to be a little kinder to the man in the mirror – any anxieties that you’ve got about your body are just holding you back from making the most of what you’ve got.
