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Dish is three years young. Each month they serve up a feast of boys and beats, and for the third birthday in March they give thanks and praise to their holy trinity: Borja, Tom and La Pequeña! Together with their apostles and choir of angels, the Dish family of DJs, hosts and gogos, Borja tells QX they ‘are one family joined together by the power of love and beats’. “We are unique! We are colourful! We are unicorns! One nation under a groove,” Borja regales: “All are welcome to join us in celebrating the sins of the flesh! Come one down and shake what your mama gave ya. Bow to the altar of Dish and find your heaven!”


1) You shall dance! And sing. Get up and do your thing. You shall embrace the creativity brought to you by our expert team of DJs and producers that create music for you to have fun.


2) You shall have no attitude at the door. This is not Berghain, but if you are rude to our lovely Janisha you ain’t partying with us, bitch.


3) You shall not look “la Pequeña” directly in the eyes, unless you want to be snogged. La Pequeña is our resident goddess and holy spirit. Show some respect or you will end up a human sacrifice! Who knows… you might like it.


4) Honor your DJs. No requesting weird shit! I mean just think about it – if you are a stylist or a hairdresser or a fashion designer, do you take requests? We don’t either.


5) Remember the second Saturday of the month and keep it free. Yes, Dish is every second Saturday of the month. Mark it on your diary. You snooze you lose!


6) You shall covet the DISH go-gos. We know, it’s hard not to. But no groping… or tea-bagging (we are looking at you Tomino)


7) You shall not look at your phone. Bitch, please, the hottest guys in London are dancing topless around you and you need to look at your phone? Fuck off and enjoy the moment. (However, we encourage the use of Manhunt, our kind sponsor, during the week)


8) You shall not just dance in one room. Babe, there are three rooms of fun, the dish of your dreams might just like Marlyn Manson and is in the Tapass room reapplying his “man”-scara! Broaden your horizons!


9) You shall not take pictures. What happens in Dish stays in Dish! If you really want to pose and make the night memorable, our resident photographer or the QX crew will make sure you don’t end up looking like the little girl from the Exorcist. Leave it to the professionals.


10) You shall not gatecrash your neighbor’s chill out. There is always an after-party when the lights go on at 6am, but wait kindly to be invited and don’t follow people you don’t know expecting to be invited you creepy stalker, have some dignity. That is all.


• Dish 3rd Birthday is at East Bloc (217 City Road, Shoreditch, EC1V 1JN) on Saturday 14th March, 10.30pm-6am.

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