Does the Gay Community Fetishize Black Men? Dylan Jones speaks with East London scenester Ola Awosika and drag performer Cairo to explore sexual attitudes towards black men on the London gay scene. 

You don’t need to look far to find controversial sexual attitudes to black men in the gay community. You just need to watch a bit of porn. Pornhub clips with titles like “two black thugs ruin skinny white boy’s ass” say it all. It might make you cum but it’s not exactly politically correct.

There’s even a website called Thughunter, where Aryan twinks parade around car parks and council estates, seducing ‘straight’ black lotharios. The homepage proudly displays the charming caption: “they’ll say no to taking it up the ass – but when you offer them a shit load of money, then you get their attention.” In one fell swoop black men are stereotyped as superficial, insincere and poor.

Racial clichés are a fairly common subgenre in gay porn; a black man being discovered robbing a house, and then proceeding to forcefully fuck their innocent white victim is a particularly offensive example. There’s also a shamelessly stereotypical selection of jungle themes, ghetto themes, prison themes…as you can see, I’ve done my research.

But does stereotyping matter in this context? It’s political incorrectness, but on a very superficial, purely sexual level. The same ridiculous profiling is given to other social groups. Scallies, sportswear, straight men – we’re all quick to shoot down the “masc” straight-acting ideology, but don’t pretend you’ve never been to brokestraightboys.com.

Elsewhere, daddy/son fantasies are getting increasingly popular and even hot gingers are now a thing, with Thomas Knights’ Red Hot 100 book appearing on coffee tables everywhere from Hoxton to Hampstead.

“I’m wary of men that ‘only date black’ too. I’m not your political statement or exotic experiment.”

The difference is context. Factors like hair colour or fashion sense are, for the most part, purely superficial. Race is a hugely significant socio-political issue in gay and straight communities alike, and probably always will be.

Ola Awosika is a visual merchandiser and East London scenester who’s had first-hand experience of exactly the kind of superficial stereotyping that still pervades the gay community.

“Black men are definitely objectified in the gay scene,” he says. “Our bodies are fetishised and sexualised. I feel as if some white gay men just want you fulfil the ‘thug’ stereotype they see in porn. I’m wary of men that ‘only date black’ too. I’m not your political statement or exotic experiment.

“A white gay male in the smoking area of a bar once said to me ‘you’re really hot for a black guy, in fact, the last guy I slept with was black.’ Why do white people think this is a compliment? Oh, so you sleep with black men? Let me just grab my jacket and let’s go back to yours so I can play out your ‘big black cock’ fantasies. Or not.”

In a recent survey by FS Magazine, 80% of black guys said they still experience racism on the scene, while 70% of white guys believed that all black men were well hung. Too often black men are categorised as hypersexual, hyper-masculine hunks, with massive egos and massive dicks to match. If people really believe that, it makes sense that they would fetishise black men; sadly, masculinity is often lauded in the gay community, and a 6’5 muscle-bound black guy could be perceived as the pinnacle of that.

Clearly, some people are just ignorant, rather than consciously racist, but that certainly doesn’t make it any better. You could even argue this scarily colonial lack of awareness only makes it worse.

“You only have to look at dating apps,” he continues. “They’re either rife with ‘No blacks or Asians’, dressing up racism as preference, or thirsty white gays screaming out for a ‘big thug dick.’

“Racism is so insidious that it impacts our dating choices. I find it funny that people deny this, especially when racism affects choices in government, in work, and in education. Why wouldn’t it alter our romantic decisions?”

“Not every black man is going to steal your wallet. But they may steal your heart.”

Cairo is a well-known drag and cabaret performer, and a major figure on the scene. As not only a person of colour but also someone whose sexual identity is fluid, Cairo is subjected to a unique spectrum of attitudes towards race, gender and sexuality. It’s telling that there’s still consistency with Ola’s experiences.

“Black men haven’t really been portrayed as anything but big dicked, chauvinistic fuck machines, a sentiment which upsets and confuses me,” says Cairo. “I know such a diverse cross section of black men with personalities which differ majorly, some with small genitals, some who are stupendously eloquent and some who are the most kind and gentle people I know.

“It seems that people aren’t interested in the hearts or heads of black men, only girth and length. We see on Grindr that people are allowed to express their preferences, masking their internal racism. If you are someone that says ‘No Blacks’, or ‘No Rice’, then question why. Why do you not find an ethnic minority attractive?”

Like Ola, Cairo touches on the subject of Grindr, highlighting people’s insensitivity, dismissiveness and lack of imagination on the app.

“Can’t you look past their skin colour or features, and realise that they are more than their heritage?” says Cairo. “You may like tall people, but who’s to say you won’t fall in love with a person shorter than you? Black men are still seen as less than others because people are so blinded by prejudice. Not every black man is going to steal your wallet. But they may steal your heart.”

The most distinct thing that both Ola and Cairo address is people’s seemingly inherent need for pigeonholing and generalisation. I was in a serious relationship with a mixed-race Ghanaian/British guy for around eighteen months. Perhaps wrongly, it never occurred to me to delve into the psychosexual implications of it all. I was surprised when my friends and colleagues decided to do it for me.

We’d be out in bars and whenever a black guy walked past, no matter their age, appearance or demeanour, I’d get a nudge and someone would say ‘there’s one for you Dylan.’

Suddenly, I was ‘into black guys’. I am attracted to black guys. I’m also attracted to white guys, Asian guys, middle-eastern guys, native-American guys…I could go on. I’m not into black guys, I’m into guys. And if they happen to be black, then great, whatever. But it’s interesting that even my friends, artistic and worldly as they profess to be, felt the need to define and generalise.

I think where I went wrong was to not consider it at all. My arrogance and bleeding heart liberal attitude prevented me from seeing that it was still an issue, and that it’s still something people mull over and make judgements on. As Ola says, like it or not racism is still an insidious part of our society and, unfortunately, they are still fetishised.

That said, it’s fine to be attracted to black men and to say that you are. You certainly shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself [insert Madonna dance move here], or to approach someone you’re attracted to. Just be respectful, be aware of how you conduct yourself and delete Thughunter from your browser bookmarks.