She’s back – Pam Ann – international citizen of the world – back to London to party with her gays (well the ones who aren’t now married with kids!).
The atmosphere is electric as the audience take their seats ready for “take off”. Pam Ann has earned herself a huge gay following – and all the gays are here to support her tonight. The lights dim, music blares (a little Justin Biebs) and images of the gay icon flashes across the theatre’s screens ‘vogue-styley’, alongside captions such as “Queen Cunt”. The gays squeal. The lesbians…nod in approval.
We’re in for turbulence. As the theatre’s posh screen lifts, Ms. Ann appears, amongst stage fog and disco lights. Mother has arrived.
The song is Madonna’s “Living for Love” and here she is, dressed as another gay icon, Madge, complete with bull fighting cap and horns. Ironic, as Madonna is said to be a fan of Pam’s, recorded as saying that she is “cruelly funny”. And Madge isn’t her only celeb pal – Pam has performed in-flight entertainment for Elton John’s partner, David Furnish’s 40th Birthday Bash. To the delight of Victoria Beckham and Lulu.
The show is a riot. Pure camp humour, where as usual, Pam regales us of tales from the Aviation industry and their stereotypes: Virgin Airlines ‘sluts’ and British Airways’ ‘horses’. The difference? She’s gotten cruder, more outrageous and more disgusting. We loved it.
The show is about cock, coke and cheeky shots– so a typical night in Soho (only joking mum!) Ms. Ann even offers her 1st class passengers (those lucky enough to get front row tickets – including me, who had to ‘persuade’ one of the ushers to upgrade me) a little alcoholic refreshment – whilst she snorts copious amounts of coke.
Our in-flight entertainment? Pam had that covered too. Supposedly when she was last in England she was a guest at Downton Abbey where she corrupted Lady Mary and Grannie into being slutty airhostesses and recorded it all. It was a hoot and that’s the level of customer service she offers.
I look forward to flying Pam Ann Airlines soon, an airline where Pam Ann would do anything for her passengers. Unless you’re in economy.
• Pam Ann’s Queen of the Sky continues at the Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX until 7 November. Tickets £12 – £50.
