There will be a series of gay cardiac arrests across Europe on the evening of May 18th. Just when you thought Eurovision couldn’t get any gayer, queen of pop Madge is getting in on the action. Spending the best part of her year playing a vintage accordion dressed in a waistcoat and a sombrero at a dingy bar in Lisbon, Portugal, she’s an honorary European so this move feels long overdue.
She’s expected to take to the Tel Aviv stage and perform two songs during the evening-long event. The event is set to see over 180 million viewers, and after teasing a new album titled ‘Madame X’, we know she won’t be able to resist dishing out some of her new music but LET’s be honest. We might be looking forward to hearing the new stuff, but when she’s on stage we’d much rather see her churn out something from the back catalogue. These are the ICONIC madonna performances we want to see brought back to life at Eurovision 2019:
‘Vogue’ – MTV Music Video Awards 1990
A moment of music HISTORY. This performance was formative to modern day music Awards performances, blowing every one before it out of the water. This was when Sinead O’Connor was the other most rewarded artist of the year… so… yeah. It was a major night for Madonna, picking up three awards and serving this sickening performance. Dressed in Marian Antoinette regalia WAY before Kirstin Dunst made her a figure in pop culture. Playing on the art of voguing the 18th-century high-society language of fans, this was performance was a visually spectacular that MUST have had an influence on that dance scene from Yorgos Lanthimos’ The Favourite. No matter how they threw those fans around, not a single performer drops them. PERFECTION.
‘Live to Tell’ – Confessions Tour
The Beatles might have claimed that they were bigger than Jesus, but Madonna said she WAS Jesus with this performance from the legendary Confessions Tour. The thing that could have made this performance more awe-inspiring is if it was performed in the holy land. It was a powerful performance which sought to bring attention to the 12,000,000 people who were estimated to have died of the AIDS pandemic in Africa. The performance saw major backlash from various religious groups with prosecutors in Dusseldorf threatening to sue her for blasphemy. The sheer scale of this production is just breath taking, and it has a truly powerful message.
‘Like a Prayer’ – Met Gala 2018
The last time she took to the stage it was an intimate affair, performing for the glitterati and socialites attending the 2018 Met Gala. Thankfully, we the unwashed masses were given the pleasure of being witness to the performance in a YouTube video posted months later. This gave us such drama as she once again dove headlong into religious imagery, this time taking inspiration from the middle ages. She showed off that corseted Heavenly Body and we were LIVING.
‘Living for Love’ – The BRIT Awards 2015
OH YES, WE WENT THERE. When it comes to memorable Madonna performances, this one is irreversibly burned onto the British consciousness. From her Rebel Heart album, this song didn’t really get off the ground as she’d hoped, but that wasn’t stopping her from snatching headlines. Calling on the bullfighting tradition as her inspiration, she dances surrounded by topless men dancers with bull horns but not before she topples to the ground after a cape gimmick goes awry. Looking back you realise how early on in the performance that she takes the hit, but that does NOT stop her. She gets back up and SLAYS it.
‘Express Yourself’ – MTV Music Video Awards 1989
Madonna never goes for second best, and this performance was fashion perfection. She set most of those 80s trends, and underwear as outerwear paired with tailoring is still a go-to for street style influencers today. She must have had some deal with MTV because this was the only reason people tuned in that night. The short blonde curly bob with the dark roots also had women growing out their peroxide locks and giving a middle finger to the massive hair that dominated the decade. This performance was one that demonstrated Madge’s style and skill as a dancer, with the geometric movements being completely in sync with her backup dancers.
‘Gang Bang’ – The MDNA Tour
WHAT is this insanity. A motel room, Madonna’s an assassin, masked assailants crawl in through the window, blood splatters splash the stage that’s just littered with guns by the end of it. This staging is what you get when you watch Kill Bill after some funny brownies. Her poor dancers are punched, shot and dangle from the ceiling. Just as one makes a break for it, she chases him through the audience with a silver gun before delivering one fatal blow. One thing is clear, Madonna is not someone you want to meet in a dark alley at night. She just might blow your brains out.
The Eurovision Song Contest will be airing on the BBC on the 18th of May.