Kylie Minogue’s on screen performances, ranked

Once again the world has been swept up in Kylie fever with her Glastonbury set getting us all nostalgic listening to her old hits. Though she’s enjoyed a successful and varied career in music, she also has QUITE the reputation as an actor. Often pegged as the Queen of Cameos, her on-screen appearances may be short, but they all play a part in forming the dazzling tapestry that is Kylie Minogue.

She’s done TV, film, soaps and sitcoms. There’s an entire filmography to dive into, but before you do, best see how they rank on our list. Here are all of her on-screen appearances RANKED:

13. Cammy in Street Fighter (1994)

A movie based on a video game. WHEN is that ever a good idea? When the star of a movie is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s jawline, you know you’re in trouble. It has all the kitschy and camp energy of a ’90s episode of the Power Rangers, but none of the fun. As Sargent Cammy, Kylie is lost in a sea of bad costumes and her character is painfully lacking in substance. She nabbed this role after placing on Who Magazine‘s list of the “World’s 30 Most Beautiful People” so perhaps the director wasn’t too confident in her acting prowess. 

12. Susan Riddick in San Andreas (2015)

This was a disaster movie in more ways than one. With wrestler-turned-Hollywood hunk Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the lead role, it was clear that this wasn’t going to be a work of art. Los Angeles is devastated by an earthquake, The Rock is on a one-man rescue mission in his little helicopter. Kylie has a cameo appearance as The Rock’s ex-wife’s boyfriend’s sister. In her main scene, she’s a total bitch to her brother’s boyfriend, is rude to a waiter, and then (SPOILER) an earthquake hits and she falls 50 floors to her death. 

11. Shauna in Young & Hungry (2015)

Ths American sitcom about a tech entrepreneur who sleeps with his personal chef is quite something. It made it through entire seasons, which is astonishing because it’s safe to say very few people have heard of it. In the show’s second season, Kylie makes a guest appearance as a tech reporter form ABC News who said tech entrepreneur sleeps with. She’s ultimately reunited with her estranged daughter who had also slept with the tech entrepreneur. GASP. Still, seeing Kylie in the multi-camera set up is rather amusing, but WHY couldn’t she have been Christine Baranski’s bratty little sister on The Big Bang Theory, or Deborah Messing’s second cousin twice removed on Will and Grace? THAT we’d tune in to. 

10. Kaye Hall in Swinging Safari (2017)

That bowl cut alone landed this one towards the bottom of the list. Kylie’s one half of an adventurous couple living in a small Australian cul-de-sac in the 1970s. Their small community makes headline news when a huge whale washes up on their beach. Cut to one caftan-wearing Miss Minogue being splattered by dead whale juice. This film has Kylie going from girl next door to the drunken neighbour who slipped you vodka when you were fourteen.

9. Tara in Jack & Diane (2012)

Check out our Kylie going all gritty independent movie. This adorable story of a queer teen couple has a tatted Kylie making out with a teenage girl and we’re here for it. But this film’s entire vibe gets very strange with the intercutting of weird bodily imagery of mushing flesh and soggy clumps of soggy hair. This was an admirable attempt at something more “real” but just wasn’t a good movie with paper-thin character development.

8. Eva Grace in Holy Motors (2012)

Come on, pixie cut! Despite this film being full psycho -whacko-crazy, we see Kylie in the most ordinary-looking role of her career. This dark thriller follows a few hours in the life of Monsieur Oscar, a mystic man of mystery who leads a life shrouded in shadow. A daring film that garnered critical acclaim across the board for its bravery in exploring the roles people play in life. Her rendition of “Who Were We” is adorable, and definitely one for the collection of Kylie enthusiasts. 

7. Lola Lovell in The Delinquents (1989)

Step aside Sandy, Lola Lovell is in town. This is Brisbane’s answer to Rebel Without A Cause, where two delinquent teenagers reek havoc in the 1950s. Teen pregnancy, abortions, underage drinking, running away from home, living on the breadline. Life is hard for sad sad Lola Lovell. This early performance is adorable, if not totally believable. “Don’t make a mess of your life Lola.” Challenge accepted. This cinematic debut is sad and sassy in equal measure. The films’ happy ending comes way from left-field but is still a good nostalgic watch. 

6. Kylie Minogue in The Vicar of Dibley (1994)

Very much like Lorraine Kelly’s acclaimed performance as Lorraine Kelly on the television show Lorraine, this stellar guest appearance as Kylie Minogue is breathtaking. In the comedy series’ third-ever episode, Kylie attends the Anual Village Festival because she just happens to be in the neighbourhood. She stops by thinking she’s meeting Elton John, but it turns out Elton isn’t there at all. When Vicar Dawn French promises her the best seat in heaven, she has no choice but to turn up to the festival. 

5. Queen of the Enchanted Forest in Galavant (2016)

Right, we came across this gem recently and we’re OBSESSED. Galavant is what happens when Glee meets Game of Thrones. Sound dreadful? You don’t know the HALF of it. It only ran for two seasons, but thankfully that was long enough to give us Kylie as the queen of an enchanted forest who we meet hanging out at a medieval gay bar. We repeat. A MEDIEVAL GAY BAR. She ultimately bursts out into song. Check out her performance of “Off With His Shirt” HERE. It’s quite something… 

4. Charlene Robinson in Neighbours (1986-88)

The role that won her the heart of a nation. Her turn on Neighbours is what really launched her career. She landed the role right after her high school exams and though she was only on the show for two years, her impact was immense. As the frisky, outspoken tomboy, she had a generation of women training to be mechanics just for the super cute overalls. Her wedding to Jason Donovan’s character Scott was an international event and her departure to follow a career in music caused just as much of a stir. Despite being repeatedly invited to return, she has yet to walk back down the streets of Erinsborough.

3. The Green Fairy in Moulin Rouge (2001)

We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again. Kylie is a cameo QUEEN. This bit part as the green fairy in an absinth-induced hallucination is just EVERYTHING. Looking the picture of a sexed-up Tinkerbell, she does a one-woman Can-Can while singing an upbeat rendition of “The Hills are Alive”. Her iconic look has been emulated several times, being one of the most notable depictions of the green fairy. If a glug of the highly alcoholic anise drink would have us seeing Kylie in our front room then pour us a fat, tall glass of it. 

2. Astrid Peth in Doctor Who (2007)

If you were going to put together a galaxy voyage, why WOULDN’T you style it after one of the most famed disasters in Earth’s history? From the get-go, we knew this one wasn’t going to end well for our Kylie. The episode drew the series’ largest numbers of viewers in 26 years and was the second most-watched TV event of 2007. This role was tailor-made for Kylie, which really allows her to shine. The waitress turned martyr makes tumbling from a cliff edge in a fork-lift look so damn elegant. Just a word for the wise, maybe just have the memory of this one live on in your memory. Watching it back it isn’t quite the stylish romp we remember. 

1. Epponnee Rae in Kath and Kim (2004)

LOOK AT MOI EPPONNEE. In famed Australian comedy tv series Kath and Kim‘s season three finale, Kylie makes a guest appearance as Kim’s daughter who’s set to be married. Kim’s determined that her daughter needs to land a role on Neighbours and flash forward into the future, Kim has birthed Kylie Minogue. As the spoiled daughter, Epponnee brings real zest to the role. Thigh-high patent leather white leather boots paired with a mini wedding dress with a killer train and oodles of permed blond locks; this is a LOOK.

Why Gen Z need to share our love of Kylie

 

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