Coronavirus has taken its hold! It’s time for the party queen I am to turn into a hedgehog and go into ultimate hibernation mode!
I know many are fearing the isolation — but it all depends on the manner in which you think about things! Imagine you are KATE BUSH going into recluse to toil away on a musical opus about the birds…AGNETHA running away from ABBA to find herself in the woods…god, social distancing never sounded so glamorous!
Here are my top 7 things to do with your time in isolation/confinement/seclusion/hermitage.
A CREATIVE PURSUIT
That novel you were thinking of writing or those song lyrics that never quite got off the ground?
That guitar that’s been sitting there that you had your best Dolly Parton manicure prepared for to strum?
Energy is transformative — let any cooped up claustrophobic feelings burst out onto the canvas — you can transform your madness into art!
Let your piano playing become leaping and wild, aspiring to burst forth from the insular to the expansive!
COOK
The viral icon SHIRLEY NASH is doing the rounds again, boasting about her love of “making soup and eating bread and just getting all fat and sassy!”.
I have Nigella also ready to get me into my homey voluptuousness!
Get the hob hot and ready to make a bubbling soup — spinning around your soup pot in a highly choreographic throwing dashes of herb in through spins and twirls!
CHATURBATE
Wank online and indulge in this futuristic form of loving. Connecting through the screen, telegraphing your physicality to others doing the same: worshipping the phallus.
YOUTUBE
We have a wealth of online videos to watch! CATS, CARS, FABULOUS WOMEN, ALTERCATIONS, JUBILATIONS, CONSPIRACY, ANCIENT HISTORY!!!
Fill your mind with the vast visual and educational stimuli available to us on the greatness that is YouTube!
SLOB ABOUT
Whenever have you had such a great excuse to NOT do anything? Time to live as many forms such as sloths do! Lay in bed eating and letting your beard grow thick. You’ve gotta sin to be saved now!
You are a mystical dank cave dweller.
PARTY IN YOUR PANTS
Put on an energising playlist and just party in your pants!
PLOT YOUR RETURN INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD
Paraphrasing Nadya Ginsburg para-paraphrasing Madonna “what will you wear to the revolution?”
A train? A catsuit? Cat-eye glasses? Keep in mind coronavirus is expected to clear by Spring 2021 so have a spiritually reborn flush of new motherhood essence in mind!
