Christmas can be a magical time of year, but it doesn’t always feel that way for everyone. For many LGBTQIA+ people, Christmas can be complicated, messy, and even painful. Maybe you don’t have a family to go home to—or if you do, it’s not a safe or welcoming place. Maybe your chosen family, the people who usually make life brighter, are busy with their own plans, leaving you alone with the silence.
If that’s where you find yourself this year, please know you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even numb about Christmas. You’re allowed to feel how you feel. Let’s talk about how to get through this season with a little bit of hope, a little bit of care, and a reminder that even in the hardest moments, there’s love and support out there for you.
For some LGBTQIA+ people, “home” is a loaded word. Maybe your family doesn’t know who you really are, and you can’t bear the thought of hiding yourself for the sake of keeping the peace. Or maybe they do know, and they’ve made it clear that you’re not welcome. That kind of rejection hurts, no matter how long ago it happened.
Even if your family is supportive, practicalities like money, distance, or work might make it impossible to travel. When your friends—your chosen family—are wrapped up in their own plans, it’s easy to feel like you’ve fallen through the cracks.
It’s okay to feel the weight of that. Being alone at Christmas can stir up so many emotions: longing, anger, sadness, even jealousy when you see other people surrounded by loved ones. You’re not weak or overreacting for feeling this way. It’s human.
The hardest part of being alone during Christmas is often the quiet. No clinking glasses at dinner, no chatter, no laughter. Social media makes it worse, with everyone posting pictures of their joyful reunions, cosy dinners, and glittering Christmas trees. It’s easy to look at those snapshots and feel like you’re the only person in the world who’s struggling.
That isolation can take a toll, not just on your emotions but on your habits, too. Maybe you find yourself pouring another drink to fill the silence, or diving into hookups or other distractions to escape the ache. These things might numb the pain for a moment, but often they leave you feeling emptier than before.
What you deserve—what we all deserve—is real connection. And even though it might not look like the traditional Christmas you see in movies or Instagram posts, it’s possible to find it.
The beautiful thing about the LGBTQIA+ community is that we understand what it means to feel left out, and we’ve built spaces to bring people together, especially during times like this. There are organisations and groups all over the UK offering connection, whether you want to meet new people, share a meal, or just know someone is there to listen.
Charities like Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline and MindOut are there to offer support if you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you’re in London, The Outside Project creates safe spaces and events for queer people who need somewhere to belong. In smaller towns, local Pride groups often host festive meet-ups—keep an eye on social media or community notice boards to see what’s happening near you.
If you’re feeling up to it, volunteering can be a great way to find connection. Organisations like Crisis and Shelter run Christmas programs that need extra hands, and helping others can remind you that you’re part of something bigger. Sometimes, giving is the best way to find a little peace.
If you’re spending Christmas alone, take the opportunity to make the day about you. Cook your favourite meal, binge a TV series that makes you laugh, or take a long walk somewhere beautiful. Little rituals, like lighting a candle or wrapping yourself in a cosy blanket, can bring surprising comfort.
Sticking to a routine helps too. It’s easy to let the days blur together when you’re feeling low, but simple things like getting dressed, eating regular meals, and stepping outside can make a big difference.
And if it all feels too heavy, reach out. Services like Samaritans are there 24/7 to talk, no matter what’s on your mind. You don’t have to carry everything alone.
Remember you’re not alone- Christmas doesn’t have to look like a picture-perfect postcard to be meaningful. Whether you find connection through an LGBTQIA+ event, a support group, or even a quiet moment with yourself, there’s no wrong way to get through the season.
This whole time might feel heavy, but it’s just a season. Even when it feels like no one sees you, there are people out there who care and who want you to feel loved and valued—because you are.
You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it right now. There’s a whole world of people and resources out there, ready to remind you that you matter today and every day.”
Merry Christmas
Andy Mr Gay Great Britain 2024 x
https://www.societyofstrays.co.uk
Social: @AndyJGardiner and @mrgaygreatbritain
